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Posted: June 10, 2011
Tension in a marriage can be good. But by the time some people finish reading this blog about tension they may be shouting, “Get rid of the jerk, he/she’s not worth it.” Apparently they were worth it at one time; the day you were both all dressed up in your finest attire, surrounded by family and friends and declaring your love for each other for the “rest of your lives.” Our modern day lifestyle plays havoc with our marriages; especially during the years where we are cultivating our careers, nurturing our children, trying to stay in the black in our bank accounts and carving out some fun recreational activities. I believe that much of the tension arises by both spouses feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, frustrated and then angry. Instead of throwing in the towel and saying, “I don’t love you anymore, and I’m leaving”…see the tension as a golden opportunity for…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Communication, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Overcoming Struggles, Overwhelmed and Undervalued, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: June 4, 2011
Every one of us is a minefield full of treasures. Most of those minefields are pain, frustration, disappointment, bitterness and anger because of unmet expectations. So how does that turn into a treasure? Follow me along on a treasure hunt. To do that I need to tell you a little story. There was a man who ran across American, coast to coast. When he completed this arduous, compelling and harsh task, he was met by the news media, with TV cameras and microphones being shoved into his face. The reporters asked him, “What was the hardest part of this year long trek? Was it the heat in the summer? Was it the fatigue? Was it the loneliness? Was it the relentless distance?” The runner replied without any hesitation, “No, it was the sand in my shoes.” Ok what does that have to do with expectations? Everything! When we have expectations,…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Fear, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment
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Posted: June 2, 2011
My friend Linda Shepherd’s book, WHEN YOU CAN’T FIND GOD is authentic and powerful. Her words ring true because she has lived them. She has experienced the storms of live and understands that one time or another; …“the storms of life visit us all, and we find ourselves ill-prepared to weather them.” Many of us ask the question, “Where is God when everything comes crashing down? Linda hits our heart in our deepest, most vulnerable places of questioning God while we are in the midst of our storm. But what I really love about this book; is that she takes us by the hand and guides us into a place of refuge, strength and tools for surviving all of the gritty and tough places in life. At the end of each chapter she guides us into focusing on God by: Focusing on God Taking a “Trip to the Oasis”…
Posted in: Uncategorized
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Posted: May 24, 2011
“Have you left your luggage unattended at any time?” This is one of the questions the girl at the airline check-in counter asks before she allows me to plunk my luggage onto her conveyer belt. I know this simple, ridiculous question is for my safety; to protect me from terrorism or any other harm. Yet so many of us, before we say our “I do’s” and get ready to fly into our marriage; don’t ask each other that straightforward, life saving question. We arrive at the marriage alter dragging our gorgeous, deceptive Gucci luggage which holds all of our garbage and secrets. There probably has not been any reason to unzip the baggage; after all you have both been in a magical, endorphin induced courtship. Now the day to day routine of life begins with its challenges and obstacles, and before you know it you are pulling the luggage zipper…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, False Belief Systems, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Understanding each other
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Posted: May 13, 2011
He was like a magnet. You were drawn to him and fell head over heels in love with him because of his charisma, the way he could dazzle a room, make the little old ladies smile and make you feel like a movie star. He had fun, crazy creative ideas for entertainment every weekend; he could make you laugh until your belly ached and he could pick you up, and literally sweep you off your feet. Now that you’re married to him, he drives you crazy with his frenetic activity, you can hardly tolerate the way he dominates all conversations in social settings and he is never happy spending an evening at home cuddling and watching T.V. OR: You fell in love with him because of his calm, easy going nature; nothing fazed him. Who cares if you showed up late at a restaurant; no problem! So what if…
Posted in: Uncategorized
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Posted: May 6, 2011
For over twenty-five years I have been the only woman in the Boardroom and in Manager’s Meetings. You would think that by now I would know how to phrase my questions and conversations so that I can engage men in productive and meaningful conversations. Think again. Apparently not;I am constantly learning. This week my question was, “Hey guys, I need to order a cake for the Retirement Party; should we get fancy or funny?” They looked at me as though I was Neanderthal woman, turned away from me and broke into animated conversation with each other about the hockey play-offs. That ended the conversation. If the majority of men are interested in talking about cakes; think again. In all my blogs about marriage, please know there is always a disclaimer. Keep in mind that I am writing about men in general. There are certain men that if you asked them…
Posted in: Beauty through Boldness, Encouragement, Expectations, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: May 2, 2011
I am a visual, picture thinker. My friend Laura Davis’s book COME TO ME, gave me the sights, smells, and images of the life of Christ in a fresh, vibrant encounter. Each night I read a couple of chapters and it left me with peace and a fresh understanding of the day to day life of the Son of God. Come to Me is beautifully written in the context of intimate conversations taking place between Jesus’ mother, Mary, and Jesus’ disciples. As we get older, we love to recall all the funny, mischevious, frolicking moments in our children’s lives. Mary is no different. In this book Mary is in her declinings years and passionately and lovingly goes back to vividly recall the stories of Jesus growing up years and powerful ministry. Laura does an outstanding tribute to the details as written in the gospels, but adds just enough detail to…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Book Review, Encouragement, Finding Truth, Hope, Intimacy, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices
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Posted: April 22, 2011
For many years, when my alarm went off at 6:00 a.m.; I would start to pray. “God, please help me to get out of this bed. Help me get one foot on the floor and then the other one. Please God help me to start this day.” Those were the days when I was employed full time, taxied two children to endless activities, baked my own bread, sewed my own clothes, taught Sunday School…in other words; every morning I had to go into the telephone booth and change into the image of Super-woman of this present generation. On Saturday mornings while the children were cuddled in their pajamas, munching cereal, playing with the dog and my husband watching basketball, any person watching this peaceful family scene would probably sigh and comment on this blissful Rockwell family. Wrong. In the meantime I was in the kitchen banging pots, dragging out the…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Freedom from Busyness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: April 15, 2011
Once the chemical magic wears off in a relationship, we get into the nuts and bolts of what makes us tick. There has to be more to a fulfilling home life than the grinding routine of vacuuming dog hairs, running children to soccer, paying the mortgage and fertilizing the grass. If we don’t know what makes our spouses’ hearts pound, gives them fulfillment and spurs them on to become better people, we miss the mark in what marriage was intended to be. One of the hardest questions we will ask each other is this, “What are your 3 greatest needs?” We may actually think this is a dumb, easy question, but in fact it is the most essential one you will ever ask your spouse AND yourself. We all have deep emotional needs, physical, spiritual needs, that if they are not met, we will slowly die inside. So first ask…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Encouragement, Expectations, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure
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Posted: April 7, 2011
When I am on vacation I love reading the kind of mysterious, romantic stories that have me turning the pages faster than yesterday’s wind storm. When I finally turn the last page of the book, I may be drained with emotion and tired from staying up too late, but there is nothing better than exclaiming, “That was the best story I’ve ever read.” Too often I have picked up a book that had a great cover, outstanding endorsements by other great authors, and yet I can’t seem to get past Chapter Two. Boring! Nothing in there to capture my attention and even though I try to like the book, I finally close it up, lay it down and shove it in a drawer. I believe that is what happens to some of marriages. Initially the marriage had all the ingredients of making a great story husband, wife, the kids, dog,…
Posted in: Beauty through Boldness, Encouragement, Finding Truth
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