Blog: Freedom from Busyness
Posted: August 21, 2023
If you knew you only had thirty days to live, what is one thing in your life that you would stop right now?” This provoking question started a lively discussion amongst my group of friends. After much animated banter, one main theme came into focus; stop the life-sucking “shoulds”out of our daily activities. We agreed that many of us cave into guilt-induced obligations. We are afraid that we will disappoint people or they might not like us. The discussion became livelier as we tried to determine the obligations we needed to let go so that we could enjoy the vibrant, fulfilling life that Jesus came to model for us. There is one prevailing statement I hear these days: “I am so tired!”It is a proven statistic that today we sleep 1-1/2 hours less that we did one hundred years ago.[i] More motor vehicle accidents are being reported because both men…
Posted in: anxiety, ask for help, ask God, chaos, Conflict, each day has enough troubles of its own, Encouragement, Expectations, Freedom from Busyness, frustrations, grace, live one day at a time, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, perfectionism, re-evaluate, Say no, should, trust God for today
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Posted: December 11, 2022
It’s not always the big stuff that can push us over the Christmas edge; sometimes it’s an accumulation of multiple little things that cause fatigue. For example: Saturday I was going to start my Christmas baking of cookies and my never fail butter tarts. But I didn’t check my flour supply and forgot about the corn syrup for the filling. So in the middle of a big mess, with no makeup and without brushing my hair, I’m driving down snowy, slippery roads to my closest store; Wal-Mart. But they were out of corn syrup. So were two other stores. By the time I navigated all the parking, ran up and down a zillion aisles, stood in line to pay for one item, I’m struggling to keep smiling. Not to mention cancelled events, (for which I prepared) and wall-to-wall people in the mall. Each year I am determined to have a…
Posted in: anger, Anticipation, anxiety, Christmas fatigue, Christmas joy, disappointments, Exit plans, Expectations, Freedom from Busyness, frustrations, Move on, relationships, Resentment, rest, Say no, Simple, Solitude, take care of your heart
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Posted: December 9, 2018
We’re a generation that’s not good with feeling bad. Yet there are those days or seasons where life just feels bad. I’m not talking about a depression or severe anxiety that needs tender loving counselling or therapy; it’s the dailyness and sometimes ruggedness of a certain season. Like sadness or loss of something precious and valuable, or the month of December known as…Christmas. Christmas is difficult for many people. Christmas is the season where you are supposed to feel good. We all want our life portrayed like the magical Holiday movies of people skating at Rockefeller Center, houses covered in lights and Christmas presents with huge, perfect bows. It’s the magic and pleasure we all hope to experience. But sadness or grief confuses our expectations and priorities. On one hand we want all that goodness and fun, yet somehow it seems wrong and too much work. Both my husbands…
Posted in: adversity, alone, Beauty from the Inside Out, care, Christ, Christmas, could, death, decisions, Encouragement, Expectations, Faith, feeling bad, feeling good, Freedom from Busyness, gifts, God's love, grace, grief, happy, Hope, joy, Laughter, Overcoming Struggles, presents, shoud, should, trust
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Posted: November 4, 2015
Many of us have said: “If I knew then what I know now.” But I know I did my best at 30, during the hectic days of spending my days in the car running children to their endless activities. Then at age 40 with teenagers and career. And so on. As the grey hair emerges, shouldn’t all profound wisdom should be right on its heels? But that’s not the case. I love what Maya Angelou says: “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” So now that I am older and smarter what can I unlock to do better? Unlock – Give back to society. I was at a fund raising breakfast this morning where the speaker affirmed something that resonated. “When we contribute back to society our lives are healed and enriched. “ Every day I am more aware that…
Posted in: 5 things, Balancing life, Communication, decisions, Encouragement, Freedom from Busyness, generosity, Good Marriage, happy, Harmony, Intimacy, love, Making Wise Choices, sleep, smart, technology, time, unlock
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Posted: February 13, 2015
How can we bulletproof our marriages in a culture that is too busy to spend intimate time with the people we love? Rick Warren in his best selling book, “What on Earth Am I Here For?” says that the way to spell LOVE is T.I.M.E. I totally agree! Last weekend I had the privilege and JOY to speak to a group of families with young children about taking TIME to re-connect with our spouses and children. Let me share my points: T. TAKE TIME TO LOOK UP AND DIG DOWN It’s time to lay down our technology; look into each other’s eyes and engage in intimate, honest and meaningful conversation. We also need to dig down behind the words and our emotions to find out what the other person is really saying. For example, when a wife says: “Don’t touch me”, it could mean: “You said you would take out…
Posted in: Balancing life, Communication, companionship, Differences, Encouragement, Expectations, Faith, Finding Truth, Freedom, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, fUN, God' Love, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, Kindness, Laughter, Life of Jesus, Listening, love, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Patience, Peace, Pleasure, power of words, Resentment, self gratification
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Posted: April 5, 2014
The movie, “I DON’T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT” (starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Pierce Brosnan) caused me to ruminate about the feminism movement in the 60’s and 70’s. Looking back I realize I was a culprit in this portion of history to make women believe they could have it all. I was determined to do it and I was able to pull it off. But at times the fatigue almost killed me. I hope we have all learned something from the craziness of trying to juggle demanding careers, involving our children in every activity under the sun, and still keep up meaningful conversations over the dinner table. (What dinner table?) After watching that movie it brought me to the harsh reality that “if we don’t take the take for companionship with our family, we will lose everything.” We will lose the safety net and intimacy of our marriage, the…
Posted in: Balancing life, Boring marriage, chaos, Communication, companionship, Encouragement, Expectations, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, fUN, Harmony, intimacy destroyer, Laughter, love, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, Understanding each other
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Posted: August 5, 2013
Laughter cuts tension and breaks down barriers. I observed this concept in my own children when they were little. I watched them play, and then fight, and then laugh hilariously about something silly. In the aftermath of that refreshing laughter, they completely forgot they were mad at each other. This concept still applies to us grown-ups. Life can get very serious these days and we desperately need to learn to laugh again. Yes, the butterflies of early romance quickly flutter away, but they can be replaced by something more substantive. In a New York Times article i. entitled Reinventing Date Night for Long-Married Couples, the writer concludes that “Simply spending quality time together is probably not enough to prevent a relationship from getting stale.” We’ve all heard the phrase “familiarity breeds contempt’ and I also believe that none of us want to become that “old boring couple”. I am passionate…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Boring marriage, Communication, companionship, Conflict, dopamine, Encouragement, Expectations, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, fUN, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Laughter, Norepinephrine, Pleasure, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: June 28, 2013
Nature abhors a vacuum. An emotional or spiritual vacuum is “destruction just waiting to happen.”In a marriage relationship, a vacuum is an alarming red flag. It defines a gnawing loneliness of the worst kind. Being attached to someone through the process of vows and signatures on paper, and then feeling emotionally alone and vacant, is worse than having been alone on the first place. It says in the first book of the bible in Genesis 2:18 “It is not good for man to be alone.” You and I were created for intimate relationship and when we feel disconnected we have a vacuum inside of us bigger than the Grand Canyon. Here is why it is so dangerous to walk around with a vacuum in our souls. When there is a vacuum in nature, it will do whatever it can to fill it immediately. In a flood, the water will directly…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Commitment, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, loneliness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, power of words, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: March 14, 2013
Some predictable patterns evoke a sense of pleasurable anticipation. For example. My husband and I can’t wait for golfing season to start so that we can golf on every available Friday. This pattern is full of joy and freedom because it is something Jack and I love to do. But there are predictable patterns that turn into boredom, rob us of all freedom, suck away our joy and may leave us feeling depleted and even resentful. These are the patterns that evolve from repeated and endless duty and obligations. Once an obligation or duty becomes predictable…be prepared for the danger signs. Let’s be realistic. In all marriages there are obligations that must be met every day. But there comes a time when we have to change our routines or pull away from them for a short time so that we don’t turn into time management robots. As I observe marriages…
Posted in: Anticipation, Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, Resentment, SEX, Understanding each other
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Posted: December 1, 2012
Five years ago my husband Jack and I “skipped Christmas”. Quite simply, we wanted to know what it felt like to let go of all the Christmas expectations and self imposed tension. What would a Christmas season be like without waiting in lines, looking for parking spots, finding the perfect gift and feeling exhausted from fulfilling all the traditions and obligations that are supposedly inflicted on us? Just last week I was in a Christmas decoration aisle in a huge department store, buying ribbon for our office party. A young couple was pushing a shopping cart down the aisle and in the middle of an argument. I could see the tension and frustration on her face and the anger in her voice: “This is not just for me you know; this is for OUR Christmas. I am just trying to make it a nice Christmas for OUR family.” Sadly I…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, Respect, Tension, Understanding each other
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