Blog: Friendship
Posted: November 11, 2024
One of the simplest and most powerful ways to cultivate and deepen friendships is to pray together. It’s free. All it costs you is your time and commitment. When people ask me, “Heidi, when and how did you learn and love to pray?” My response is always: “Out of desperation.” Most of us learn to pray out of desperation. Grieving the deaths of two husbands I prayed fearlessly and passionately because I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. That’s why I can pray on the spot, in a group, in front of hundreds of people because I’m not praying to impress , I’m praying to my Abba Father who hears my prayers. We don’t pray to impress or sound smart or holy. For over 10 years, without missing a single month, I’ve been praying with two friends by Skype and now Zoom. One lives in Alabama and one…
Posted in: ask for help, ask God, Christ in us, Come to Jesus, disappointments, don't give up, Friendship, girlfriends, God's love, goodness of God, Intimacy, loneliness, make time for each other, one-another, Prayer, Prayer deepens relationships, Praying divides our burdens, praying with friends, presence of God, relationships, spiritual friendships, we need each other
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Posted: February 10, 2024
It’s the love month and I wonder how many of us are getting it right. I love what Rick Warren says in best selling book, “What on Earth Am I Here For?” He gets it right by quoting that the way to spell love is T.I.M.E. We can always earn more stuff, but we can never earn more time. One of life’s greatest regrets is: I wish I had spent more time with the people I love. Our restless nature craves to be understood, accepted and loved. But many have lost their way and are looking for fulfillment in all the wrong places. Here are 4 ways to recapture and recalibrate our precious time. T – TAKE TIME TO LOOK UP AND DIG DOWN It’s time to lay down our technology, look into each other’s eyes and engage in intimate, honest and meaningful conversations. We must dig behind words and…
Posted in: Best friends, Boring marriage, Communication, companionship, expect the best, Expectations, Friendship, happiness, honesty, Intimacy, joy, love, make time for each other, Power of the Tongue, relationships, we need each other
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Posted: November 9, 2023
It feels like we’ve lost trust the last few years. Trust in our relationships, workplaces and churches. Because I’m a curious person I’ve felt this for some time and it was affirmed to me in the last Global Leadership Summit in October of this year. Craig Groeschel, pastor of Life Church hit it out of the park with his opening keynote session on trust. It gripped my heart as he affirmed what I’ve been feeling for some time. The loss of trust. I think most of who listened to this nodded as well. He said that to rebuild trust we need: transparency + empathy + consistency=trust. Wow that hit me. Over the past few years it seems we’ve split into camps through Covid, politics, the state of the world and our daily interactions. I think one thing missing out of that formula is TIME. We need to make time to…
Posted in: adversity, ask question s, ask questions, authentic, betrayal, Communication, companionship, confront conflict, consistency, Differences, empathy, Expectations, Friendship, honesty, Listening, trust, Understanding each other, unity, vulnerable, walk in my shoes
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Posted: September 17, 2023
Beware of the deadly 3 “D’s”. It starts with discouragement, catapults into despair and may end up in depression. Some how you’ve ventured into a dark cave and found there was no light to guide you out. Your aching body feels heavy and fatigued. Your mind is ruminating, you can’t focus and you keep chewing over the scene of your mess, failure, loss or disappointment. I know every one of you reading this has experienced at least one of the deadly “D’s”. It’s a horrible place to be in, and we need to help one another getting out of our cave. That’s where you come in. We all need to take part in being God’s hands and feet on earth to lift up those going through one of the 3 “D’s”. If you are the one going through one of the “D”s right now, I pray that someone reading this…
Posted in: adversity, ask for help, ask God, be a blessing, caves, companionship, cover each other's backs, darkness, depression, despair, disappointment, don't give up, Encouragement, failures, faulty thinking, feeling bad, Finding Truth, Friendship, Making Wise Choices, one-another, Overcoming Struggles, power of words, Prayer, rescue, seasons of darkness, self worth, show up, we need each other
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Posted: February 12, 2023
We crave connections and knowing we belong. The kinds of relationships that make us feel seen, heard and safe. Life refuses to be predictable and we all need spiritual friendships to help us navigate the crazy uncertainties of life these days. Trustworthy and spiritual friendships lovingly share their wisdom and guide us into places we’ve never been before. But it takes more than just one friend. We all want that BFF that “gets us” and we hope they will complete us in all ways. My pastor, Scott Lanigan, last weekend made it very clear that no one on this planet can complete us fully. That’s God’s job and He loves to do it! So our spiritual friendships are here to be the hands and feet of Jesus to help us be better, stronger, wiser and more loving. But we can’t expect one friend to fulfill all those roles. You probably…
Posted in: Ecclesiastes, a time for everything under the Heaven, adventure, ask for help, beauty and joy, Best friends, Bible Study, companionship, Encouragement, Friendship, girlfriends, God's love, happy heart, joy, Laughter, relationships, spiritual friendships, triple braided cord, we need each other
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Posted: November 7, 2021
Pumpkins are put away, and in Canada, the Christmas wreaths will soon be adorning the front doors. Quite frankly November is one of those in between, dreary months. And with the oncoming time change it will soon be dark when we get up in the morning and dark while eating supper. One of my least favourite times of the year. The trees are almost bare, the vineyards have lost their colour and I can smell the oncoming snowflakes. Not enticing for a fun loving, outdoor energetic person. f I’ve learned anything in the past 21 months it’s that life can evaporate without meaning if I don’t intentionally embrace it. And with Covid still lurking and hovering in the sidelines, let’s spur each other on to ignore fear and NOT become “lazy-boy Christians.” I’ve decided I’d rather accumulate memories than accumulate more possessions. I’ve needed so little in the last 20…
Posted in: accumulate experiences, ask God, beauty and joy, don't be fools, Encouragement, fresh joy, Friendship, God's creation, hiking, joy, pray, we need each other
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Posted: October 7, 2021
There are vineyards all around me, plus the bonus of a ready-made family of 15 deer. Male, female and many adorable bambis and they’ve taught me a lot. They love most flowers including rose bushes, cedars, and almost anything with green leaves. They’ve made me want to pull my hair out when I’ve had to replant my front flower bed for the third time and stare at me through the window while I’m watching TV. But last week they gave me a two-hour teachable moment. Two of the males locked horns. It was heartbreaking to watch. The clicking-clacking of the interlocked horns. The pushing, shoving and writhing backwards and sideways. Their grunting expressed their agony and I was unable to help them. Both were in pain but could not get away from each other. They were stuck! They were stuck! It became a “God moment “ where the Holy Spirit…
Posted in: accept and allow, betrayal, break free, Conflict, Control, deer head locks, Differences, fighting, forgive one another, Forgiveness, Freedom, Friendship, head lock, Heavenly Father, Intimacy, Kindness, relationships, set free, unlock
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Posted: July 11, 2021
People are breaking out of their confined Covid spaces and it’s sheer, delicious craziness. My first international flight after a year and a half was a mixture of absolute delight and madness. When I flew to visit my daughter Michelle’s family at Easter, I was the only person going through security. This time, in the Kelowna airport the line-up for security went all the way back to Baggage Claim. Physical distancing at the Seattle airport was out of the window, and Starbucks line-ups made it impossible to grab a cup before the boarding gate closed. In the normal quiet, laid back mentally of Montana, the hidden jewel of the Northwest, we couldn’t get a dinner or National Park reservation. Coffee shop line-ups are out the door and kayak rentals are almost non-existent. All this to say that people are bursting out of their homes to once again experience all the…
Posted in: anxiety, boundaries, break free, Christ, Covid-19, Fear, Freedom, fresh joy, Friendship, isolation, live one day at a time, loneliness epidemic, momentary trouble, nature, Overcoming Fear, physical distancing, recapture your joy, trouble
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Posted: February 7, 2021
When we’re caught in rip-tide of discouragement, aloneness and even medical issues, we need friends to pull us out. Yes Covid has restrictions but they cannot be used an excuse for not tenderly caring for one-another. There are ways. If you’ve been part of my Fresh Joy Book study you notice that I often refer to friendship circles as “tribes.” Tribes are vital to our soul and our health. Tribes are vital to our soul and health. A tribe is, “a distinctive or close-knit group.” We need people in our life who will engage with us, help us when we’re stuck, make us laugh and call us out on bad behaviour. Before Covid, this was done in face-to-face in groups (2 or more) celebrating victories, grieving together or just connecting heart-to-heart. The richness of this cannot be duplicated and must be pursued. During Covid we are limited but there are…
Posted in: alone, beauty and joy, Christ, companionship, Covid-19, disappointments, Encouragement, fresh joy, Friendship, girlfriends, good conversation, Hope, isolation, Jesus, joy, laughter, Lifter-uppers, loneliness, loneliness epidemic, relationships, tribes
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Posted: November 22, 2020
I had not had a hug or human touch for almost two months. It was now the middle of May 2020 in the thrust of Covid when I agreed to meet up with a friend to do some volunteer work. As I got out of my car, my friend walked toward me, looked around to make sure no one was watching and gave me a big hug. Not realizing how deprived I was for human touch-I hung on and cried. We are made for human connection. Covid is disconnecting us in ways that are emotionally and spiritually harmful. Physical distancing is also causing relationship break-ups, family neglect and pain and for those who live alone-loneliness and horror. I know we need to be wise and follow the rules of our country, but somehow, we have to find ways to reach out and hug. A month ago I met another friend…
Posted in: all alone, anxiety, cortisol, Covid-19, Families, Friendship, hugs, loneliness, one-another, oxytocin, physical distancing, social distancing, we need each other
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