Blog: Friendship
Posted: June 4, 2011
Every one of us is a minefield full of treasures. Most of those minefields are pain, frustration, disappointment, bitterness and anger because of unmet expectations. So how does that turn into a treasure? Follow me along on a treasure hunt. To do that I need to tell you a little story. There was a man who ran across American, coast to coast. When he completed this arduous, compelling and harsh task, he was met by the news media, with TV cameras and microphones being shoved into his face. The reporters asked him, “What was the hardest part of this year long trek? Was it the heat in the summer? Was it the fatigue? Was it the loneliness? Was it the relentless distance?” The runner replied without any hesitation, “No, it was the sand in my shoes.” Ok what does that have to do with expectations? Everything! When we have expectations,…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Fear, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment
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Posted: May 24, 2011
“Have you left your luggage unattended at any time?” This is one of the questions the girl at the airline check-in counter asks before she allows me to plunk my luggage onto her conveyer belt. I know this simple, ridiculous question is for my safety; to protect me from terrorism or any other harm. Yet so many of us, before we say our “I do’s” and get ready to fly into our marriage; don’t ask each other that straightforward, life saving question. We arrive at the marriage alter dragging our gorgeous, deceptive Gucci luggage which holds all of our garbage and secrets. There probably has not been any reason to unzip the baggage; after all you have both been in a magical, endorphin induced courtship. Now the day to day routine of life begins with its challenges and obstacles, and before you know it you are pulling the luggage zipper…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, False Belief Systems, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Understanding each other
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Posted: April 15, 2011
Once the chemical magic wears off in a relationship, we get into the nuts and bolts of what makes us tick. There has to be more to a fulfilling home life than the grinding routine of vacuuming dog hairs, running children to soccer, paying the mortgage and fertilizing the grass. If we don’t know what makes our spouses’ hearts pound, gives them fulfillment and spurs them on to become better people, we miss the mark in what marriage was intended to be. One of the hardest questions we will ask each other is this, “What are your 3 greatest needs?” We may actually think this is a dumb, easy question, but in fact it is the most essential one you will ever ask your spouse AND yourself. We all have deep emotional needs, physical, spiritual needs, that if they are not met, we will slowly die inside. So first ask…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Encouragement, Expectations, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure
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Posted: March 26, 2011
We are obsessed with knowledge. Then why, to recapture an old phrase, are we “going to hell in a hand basket?” I won’t list all the statistics and atrocities; but you know from your own area of influence what I’m talking about. We seem to be getting smarter but yet insensible. The answer is really quite simple. Knowledge without action = zero. When we come to an intersection in life that begs action, simply knowing the right answer but not doing anything about it perpetuates more pain, rejection, disappointment, anger, and resentment. As Albert Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” You can talk about writing a book year after year, but if you don’t hit the SEND button on your computer, you will never know if you will be a published author. You can speak endlessly about being a better mother,…
Posted in: Beauty through Boldness, Encouragement, Fear, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Hope, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Resentment
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Posted: February 25, 2011
These words made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Loneliness is ignorance. What an irreverent and accusing comment about one of the most painful and heart wrenching human conditions. This citation (which came out of a commentary) had such a huge impact on me that I chose to study it in greater depth to try to understand the author’s point of view. It has been a startling revelation. Loneliness is in fact ignorance. We were created to be connected to our Heavenly Father and to other people; that is the only way we can function in this world if we want to live fulfilling, joyful lives. Nature abhors a vacuum and will do anything to fill it. Water flows into any empty crevice. Fires explode with a vengeance when it has produced a vacuum. When you and I are hungry we need food. When our souls…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Encouragement, Finding Truth, Friendship, Hope, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Fear, Overcoming Struggles, Resentment, Uncategorized
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Posted: February 18, 2011
January is an insane month in the gym; people are falling all over each other in the cycling classes, racquet ball court, on the cardio machines and pumping iron. There is a tension and a determined resolution to get in shape and become a “new you” after the Christmas over-indulgence. I can only surmise that many of those people looked in the mirror on January 2nd and were horrified at what they saw. With their new runners and their fancy new Adidas bag, they are off to the gym to make that much needed dramatic change. It is only February 18th and right now you can shoot a canon in the gym and you wouldn’t hurt anyone. What happened to all the enthusiastic people who wanted their new bodies? I can just imagine the language in their head, “I had no idea it would be such hard work; I’m too…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Encouragement, False Belief Systems, Finding Truth, Friendship, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles
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Posted: December 3, 2010
The Christmas Season has many women struggling with a love/hate relationship. The first Christmas carols playing in the shopping mall get their hearts pounding, they break out in a sweat and their minds unravel like an out of control scotch-tape dispenser. The next minute they see a new purse or pair of earrings and they find themselves humming to “Deck the halls…” It’s strange and yet I know. Christmas is filled with tension. Will we have enough money to make it through the season? How will our marriage survive the holidays? There is no way we can fit all these activities into 23 days-absolutely not. I hate wrapping. All these expectations are killing me. I have nothing new to wear. Do we have the family gift exchange-give individual presents and to whom? It’s all too much I can’t handle it. I know that you and I do not want…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Encouragement, Expectations, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Hope, Overcoming Struggles, Uncategorized
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Posted: November 6, 2010
I am excited and getting ready for two of our daughters coming home this weekend. Their purpose is to be by my side during my husband’s surgery. But, in spite of all our questions and the “unknowns” of what the Doctors will find on Monday, I am focusing on what I know at this moment; our FAVORITE THINGS. Right now I am in the kitchen baking the famous blueberry lemon muffins that I have been making for the last twenty-five years, cranberry biscotti and butternut squash soup. The kitchen is filled with aromas of nutme, roasting butternut squash and walnuts. The fireplace is throwing off its glorious colors and autumn hued candles are flickering and sharing their pumpkin and apple fragrances. Gentle, inspiring worship music is playing softly in the background and my husband is sitting at the kitchen counter sampling the baking as it comes out of the oven. All I…
Posted in: Beauty Unleashed, Encouragement, Expectations, Friendship, Hope, Overcoming Struggles
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Posted: September 28, 2010
Nothing creates more discussion, joy, heartache and confusion than; relationships. In spite of the fact that we are saturated with information, surveys, studies, workshops on relationships in friendship and marriage, we are extremely cautious and even more isolated. In my next book, called SAND TO PEARLS: Making Bold Choices to Enrich your Life, (Release date-January 2011) I devote two chapters on the topic of friendship. This subject always causes the greatest conversation, heartache and mystery when I speak to women across Canada. In each of us there are basic needs, and when they are met, we can have vibrant, lasting relationships. Here are my top nine needs, and I am sure most of them will be yours as well: I NEED YOU TO: 1. Listen to me. I mean pay attention, look me in the eyes, nod now and then (not drifting off to sleep kind of nodding) but “wide awake” attentiveness…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Encouragement, Expectations, Friendship, Making Wise Choices
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Posted: August 20, 2010
The deadly 3 “D’s”. It starts with discouragement, catapults into despair and may end up in depression. For some unknown reason you ventured into a dark cave and found there was no light to guide you out. Your aching body feels heavy and fatigued. Your mind is ruminating, you can’t focus and you keep chewing over the scene of your mess, failure or loss. I know every one of you reading this has experienced at least one of the deadly “D’s”. It’s a horrible place to be in, and we need help getting out. That’s where you come in. Yes YOU! We all need to take part in being God’s hands and feet on earth to lift up those going through one of the 3 “D’s”. If you are the one going through one of the “D”s right now, I pray that someone reading this blog will jump in…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Encouragement, Friendship, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Stuggles
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