Blog: Friendship
Posted: November 23, 2012
We don’t “fall in and out of love.” Love is not just a feeling, because our feelings are very fickle and play tricks on our minds. We have a tendency to think that when we lose that glow of pleasure and excitement in our marriage, that we have “fallen out of love.” Not so. We may, temporarily, have fallen out of “like” for each other, but the love is still there. God places that love within us and it needs to nurtured. In the same way that we fertilize our flowers, water them and prune them, in the same way we need to nurture the love in our marriage relationship. When we fight FOR the values, intimacy and love in our marriages, and do no fight WITH each other, we will begin to experience a deeper level of that strange word called “love”. Here are 6 more things that my…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Listening, Making Wise Choices, messes, Overcoming Struggles, Power of the Tongue, Resentment, Respect, SEX, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued
Read More
Posted: October 22, 2012
Intimacy unleashes unexpected and strange gifts. At this juncture in life I consider myself mature enough to be able to look back in my marriages and realize how these sacred unions have made me a better person. But, this learning curve was not without some excruciating, self inflicted pain. Fact is, when we take the time for some self examination of our weaknesses and ugliness, it is never pretty. Marriage can be like the sandpaper that rubs off all our pretenses to reveal our true self. After 28 years of marriage with my first husband, before he tragically died on the basketball floor 2 weeks before Christmas, and now 16 years into my new marriage, I believe I have gained some crucial insight into who I am and what will make me a better, nicer and more loving person. Here is what I have learned: Cut the drama. Men can’t…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Pleasure, Respect, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued
Read More
Posted: October 1, 2012
Past hurts make us say crazy things. Hurtful words can be like an ugly misguided scud missile that has the power to rip apart our tender and easily wounded hearts. I have been the receiver and giver of those “miss”-guided words. Our wounds MAY cause us to misinterpret the intent of someone’s words to us. This is so true in a marriage where we carry on conversations every day of the year. Imagine the “miscommunications” that can occur on a daily basis. Example: I am very familiar with the story of a wife who wanted new blinds for the bedroom. She asked if it would be OK if we spent XX dollars on new blinds. The husband immediately responded No. MISCONCEPTION and MISCOMMUNICATION: Wife: She is a home-maker who loves to create a beautiful home. The sun shines into the bedroom at uncomfortable hours of the day. She wanted to…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Listening, Making Wise Choices, Offenses, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Pleasure, Power of the Tongue, Resentment, Respect, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued
Read More
Posted: September 16, 2012
“Do you feel married?” How do you feel when you are in a season where everything seems to be changing? When the last child is off to University, a change in careers and the marriage seems too predictable and comfortable. I saw a movie a couple of weeks ago where the couple in the movie were considering divorce because “their marriage felt like a comfortable roommate”. Before I go any further let me just say that there are probably a million people out there who would love that “comfortable roommate.” But for those of you who have been married a long time, we have to realize that we go through different stages in our marriages. 1. The “drug induced” stage. This is where your heart is overflowing with love and you in a pleasure filled state because your brain is flooded with feel-good neurochemicals. We think this is what love…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Listening, Making Wise Choices, Pleasure, Resentment, Respect, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued
Read More
Posted: August 26, 2012
I find that the world is getting madder and meaner almost every year. Don’t you wish that some days we would all just hold hands, get along and sing kum-baya? I stood beside a woman in a line-up at grocery store last week, smiled and made a casual comment about groceries. She swirled around and with a frown on her face shot a mean response. Why? If we treat strangers this way, it makes me wonder if we bring some of that meanness into our homes and marriages. In the last while I have also felt like shooting back some of those angry responses and it has actually startled me. I would never, ever want to be mean to my husband, family or anyone. And yet it creeps in. If we feel mean and mad, there is a root to those feelings. I took a deep soul inventory of my…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Listening, Making Wise Choices, messes, Patience, Pleasure, Tension
Read More
Posted: August 11, 2012
Many months ago my husband Jack and I announced: “It’s time for a Family Reunion!” It makes we wonder if some of our children secretly shuddered when they heard that we wanted everyone to come home for 3 days of blended bliss. Let’s be realistic, it’s not always easy blending two families! When you have a mixture of 19 people, all with different personalities, career paths and opinions, and who live spread across Canada and the United States, you have a potpourri of blended surprise. This blog is to pay a tribute to my wonderful family, because I am so proud of each and every one of them. Some of our children and grandchildren had not seen each other for a long time, and yet I observed intentional acceptance and love. Here are some tips as to what I believe made our “Blended Family Reunion” a tremendous time of…
Posted in: Anticipation, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Pleasure, Prayer, Understanding each other, Valued
Read More
Posted: July 18, 2012
“You know what I heard today?” Nancy said that she saw you at the shopping centre and she thought you looked great. She wanted to know if you have lost some weight.” Those are words that make our skin flush, our hearts pound just a little bit harder, and our spirits are filled up to the brim with new confidence and joy. A “passed along compliment” is one of the greatest confidence boosters. It affirms our sense of value and makes us feel that we just might have something worthwhile to offer this world. I know when I hear a compliment it’s enough to keep me floating two feet off the ground for the next couple of days. So if a “passed along compliment” has such much power; imagine the energy and strength we receive when our spouses give us a compliment right to our face. The bible tells us:…
Posted in: Anticipation, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Listening, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, Power of the Tongue, Understanding each other
Read More
Posted: June 23, 2012
Today I am celebrating sixteen, fulfilling, joyful years of marriage. Yes, this is my second marriage. My first husband died suddenly two weeks before Christmas while he was playing basketball. This utterly shattered my life and I clearly recall thinking I would never experience happiness again. I remember looking in the mirror and seeing my once blue, sparkly eyes, now dull grey, lifeless and heavy with sadness. The future seems endless and meaningless. For those of you are going through a season of sadness or grief through the loss of death, divorce or separation; please hang on dear ones. Joy does come again in the morning. Our God is a God of restoration and second chances. Even though it does not feel like joy right now, believe it, pray for it and wait expectantly. But I am a firm believer in that we “must never waste our pain.” If it…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Listening, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, Prayer, Respect, Understanding each other
Read More
Posted: June 12, 2012
“Whenever you were in a crowded room, your eyes would lock into an almost shameful, blushing, intimate exchange. You laughed at everything. The hours couldn’t move fast enough before you could see each other again. He listened to every word you said and you felt beautiful, treasured and safe. Then he asked you to marry him and you couldn’t believe you would spend the rest of your life with this tender, loving, brilliant and caring man.” For many marriages those feelings and memories seem like sepia prints of an old, long forgotten movie. Your marriage has become more of a business arrangement scheduling the next meeting, family gathering or appointment. “Who will pick up the children at day care?” “Can you stop and pick up some milk and eggs after work?” “When are you going golfing this week?” “Don’t forget we need to be at the Browns on Friday night…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Finding Truth, Freedom, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Listening, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Pleasure, Resentment, Respect, Self-Control, Tension, Valued
Read More
Posted: May 19, 2012
I rarely bring up the topic of sex, because I don’t want “sex lurkers” hitting my blog and web site. But I do need to address this topic because it sensuously invades almost every aspect of our lives. It is the glaring lure or innuendo behind many billboards, sitcoms, TV commercials, romance novels and movies. It seems as though sex is the driving force that titillates us to catch our attention. Yes, sex is a very important part of a healthy, beautiful marriage relationship, but we need to understand how it truly fulfills us. God said that “it is not good for man to be alone”; and He created us to enjoy the beauty and fulfillment of that intimate union. But we have to understand that it is the culmination of love, not the initiation to a healthy, long lasting relationship. For Women: We are the emotional creatures and for…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, messes, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Respect, SEX, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
Read More
