Blog: Friendship
Posted: November 22, 2011
“What comes out of you when life squeezes you?” I think about that quite a bit actually, because I’ve had a bit of “squeezing” going on in my life. No matter how I act, or “fake it until I make it”…when life squeezes me, the REAL ME SHOWS UP! It’s not always pretty, but it is the truth. How does this reality affect your marriage; because life can be tough. © You find out a child has an addiction. © The balance in the bank account is so much lower than you anticipated. © You find out your spouse had an affair, or a friend deceived you. © Your career change is so much harder than anticipated. © Your spouse will not take on spiritual leadership. © You found pornographic sites on your spouse’s computer. © Some you love-dies. © You lost your job. © You got a life threatening…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Fear, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Obligations and Offenses, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Respect, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: November 13, 2011
Women can be powerful, influential leaders in society; but especially in the home. From the time we were little girls, we have learned some tricks to getting what we want. We may have heard words like, “Oh my, Susie you are so pretty.” So we learn to use our beauty to entice and meet our needs. Or we may have heard, “You are so smart…athletic…creative…happy…”, and then we may have learned to use these power tools to manipulate people to provide things to make us happy or to feel better about ourselves. Manipulation in a marriage has the potential to be a deadly tool that may end up boomeranging and cause built up resentment and hostility in your marriage and family. Manipulation:I once heard a well known speaker/author-namely Beth Moore, say that “Anything we have to manipulate is rarely ours to keep.” Those words have been seared into my soul…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Fear, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Respect, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: October 22, 2011
If you read my blog on a regular basis, you are familiar with my consistent inspiration to “show respect to your husband.” Yet, there is a yellow caution line that we need to be aware of; and that warning line is about knowing the difference between respect and enabling. This is where the danger lies. Women are natural nurturers and nurses. Many women feel it is their responsibility to make sure everyone and everything in life runs according to her inner, visual blueprint of life. Let me explain the difference: Respect: The bible tells us in Ephesians 5:33 “…and the wife must see to it that she deeply respects her husband-obeying, praising and honoring him.” We can give people respect when we see and acknowledge their God given characteristics and potential to grow and become more like Christ. We show them respect so that it will “call out” their inner…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Control, Expectations, False Belief Systems, Finding Truth, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Respect, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: October 2, 2011
Strangely enough whether a second marriage is the product of divorce or death, they are indeed different but both are painful. When a spouse has died the marriage is still painful but somewhatl easier because everyone involved does not have to deal with rejection. Blended families that emerge out of divorce, have to deal with anger, rejection, disappointment, regrets, resentment…only to mention a few. In both cases, the blending of families in a second or third marriage is hard, because change is hard. One of the greatest gifts you can give you new blended family is: 1. Make sure you have dealt with your own painful issues so that you are not dragging a lot of baggage into this new relationship. 2. Acknowledge that other people involved may still be suffering with any of the emotions I listed above. 3. Be aware and willing to help the members of the family…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Patience, Resentment, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: September 11, 2011
When Tool Place opened up in Kelowna, my son-in-law Tim said that, “the highlight of his visit would have been to spend one whole day at Tool Place.” My brain almost ached when I heard that; because that would have been absolute torture for me. I don’t like tools, gadgets or putting together anything that involves a tool or piece of machinery. Tonight on TV I watched Extreme Makeover and again, I saw the look of delight and the adrenaline high on the men’s faces as they drove huge semis right through someone’s home. I completely understand now; this is what excites men and gets their jets going. So ladies, let’s not be surprised when you get a text message from your husband or significant other the day before Valentine’s Day that says, “Hey Honey, what can I get you for Valentine’s Day?” We have to understand that this is…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Patience, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: September 5, 2011
Just in the last week several people have died because they were distracted while driving a motor vehicle. Recent statistics show that many motor vehicle accidents are no longer due to alcohol; but because the driver is distracted. Some of the distractions listed were, of all things, watching TV, texting, on the phone, reading or just not paying attention. Bottom line; because of a distraction they died. Our marriages are bombarded with that same game of jeopardy. When we recognize that this little piece of wires and plastic, (our cell phones, iPads or computers) takes precedence over “eyeball to eyeball” conversations, we’re on our way to a marriage wreck. I have witnessed couples out on a dinner date and the husband (or wife) looking at the top of each other’s heads as they are clicking away on text messages or checking their e-mails or Face book messages. Really, can this…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Overwhelmed and Undervalued, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: August 28, 2011
I saw the movie “The Help” this past week, and once again I saw and felt the burning passion in all of us to be free. Toward the end of the movie, one of the main characters, Aibileen finds the courage to stand up to the self-serving, manipulating, big bad Hilly Holbrook. Aibileen boldly claims that through the process of being able to speak about her life and bring her pain into the open, it validated her as a person and she found her voice. Those words were a spear into my heart because they are so true. When we are validated and accepted for who God created us to be, we find the confidence to speak up and defend our self worth. When we discover our self worth; it unleashes confidence and freedom. I believe God puts two imperfect people together to help them to chisel their characters into…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Patience, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: August 19, 2011
When someone in society breaks the law, the greatest punishment we can give them is to put them into prison. Lock them up; take away their freedom. Ask yourself this question right now, and try to visualize the answer; “What would my greatest freedom look like today?” If you have an answer to that question, let me ask you another question. “Is that picture of freedom within the boundaries of your marriage?” One of the greatest joys we can experience in this life is to be free in who God created us to be. Jesus Christ died on the cross to set us free from our self imposed prisons of guilt, shame and punishment. Yet, without realizing it, we create our own prisons in our marriages with that ugly word, control. To some degree we are all little control freaks. We have a vision of what life/marriage/husbands/children should look like,…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Control, Fear, Freedom, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Resentment, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: August 8, 2011
Dentists remind us of our checks ups so that we don’t get rotten teeth; we go to the doctor so that he can find diseases before they kill us, and girls; we need to have regular mammograms. If we don’t schedule these assessments, one day we may find our bodies in need of serious medical care. It’s no different with our cars or pets; so why would we overlook the most valuable part of our lives on this planet…our husbands? I did a check-in with my husband on our vineyard walk this week, and realized we had been missing a fun component that got lost in the distractions and demands of life; our trips to Seattle for the Washington Huskies football games. As soon as I mentioned this forgotten dream, his face lit up like a socket; and the minute we walked in the door of our home he got…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: July 30, 2011
I learn everything the hard way and this time is was from burning baby back ribs. My intentions were honorable, but it ended up all wrong. I made a huge batch of baby back ribs; one serving for neighbors that were going through a difficult family circumstance, and one portion for our family. The ribs had cooked too long and so the outside sections were burned. I separated the ribs; the burnt ones for our family, and the succulent, perfect ribs for our neighbors. My husband Dick watched me separate the ribs and with a hurt, horrified look on his face, he quietly commented, “So we get the burnt ones?” My self-righteous, good neighborly reply was, “Yup!” I thought I was doing a good, Godly, neighborly act of love, but in the meantime I destroyed my husband and family’s valuable place in my life. I realized I had placed more significance…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Understanding each other, Valued
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