Blog: Intimacy
Posted: November 11, 2024
One of the simplest and most powerful ways to cultivate and deepen friendships is to pray together. It’s free. All it costs you is your time and commitment. When people ask me, “Heidi, when and how did you learn and love to pray?” My response is always: “Out of desperation.” Most of us learn to pray out of desperation. Grieving the deaths of two husbands I prayed fearlessly and passionately because I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. That’s why I can pray on the spot, in a group, in front of hundreds of people because I’m not praying to impress , I’m praying to my Abba Father who hears my prayers. We don’t pray to impress or sound smart or holy. For over 10 years, without missing a single month, I’ve been praying with two friends by Skype and now Zoom. One lives in Alabama and one…
Posted in: ask for help, ask God, Christ in us, Come to Jesus, disappointments, don't give up, Friendship, girlfriends, God's love, goodness of God, Intimacy, loneliness, make time for each other, one-another, Prayer, Prayer deepens relationships, Praying divides our burdens, praying with friends, presence of God, relationships, spiritual friendships, we need each other
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Posted: February 10, 2024
It’s the love month and I wonder how many of us are getting it right. I love what Rick Warren says in best selling book, “What on Earth Am I Here For?” He gets it right by quoting that the way to spell love is T.I.M.E. We can always earn more stuff, but we can never earn more time. One of life’s greatest regrets is: I wish I had spent more time with the people I love. Our restless nature craves to be understood, accepted and loved. But many have lost their way and are looking for fulfillment in all the wrong places. Here are 4 ways to recapture and recalibrate our precious time. T – TAKE TIME TO LOOK UP AND DIG DOWN It’s time to lay down our technology, look into each other’s eyes and engage in intimate, honest and meaningful conversations. We must dig behind words and…
Posted in: Best friends, Boring marriage, Communication, companionship, expect the best, Expectations, Friendship, happiness, honesty, Intimacy, joy, love, make time for each other, Power of the Tongue, relationships, we need each other
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Posted: March 13, 2022
Miracle moments aren’t always the parting of the Red Sea or water gushing from a rock. Miracles continue to be all around us. The God who performed those miracles thousands of years ago, is still involved in miracles today. The God who provided daily manna for the millions of people wandering in the desert is the same God who will provide for us today. God is the I AM, the same God of yesterday, today and tomorrow. What God did for David, Moses, Elijah, and Joseph and on and on God can also do for you and me. Today. Have we forgotten that? Let’s remind ourselves and begin to look around. I facilitate a Bible Study group and one evening I asked all my participants to share their miracle moments. One participant who had multiple back surgeries two years ago, is once again walking and engaging fully with life. Another…
Posted in: ask for help, ask God, communicate, decisions, Encouragement, God's goodness, God's love, Intimacy, marriage, miracle moments, miracles, Overcoming Struggles, pray, relationships, trust Good
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Posted: October 7, 2021
There are vineyards all around me, plus the bonus of a ready-made family of 15 deer. Male, female and many adorable bambis and they’ve taught me a lot. They love most flowers including rose bushes, cedars, and almost anything with green leaves. They’ve made me want to pull my hair out when I’ve had to replant my front flower bed for the third time and stare at me through the window while I’m watching TV. But last week they gave me a two-hour teachable moment. Two of the males locked horns. It was heartbreaking to watch. The clicking-clacking of the interlocked horns. The pushing, shoving and writhing backwards and sideways. Their grunting expressed their agony and I was unable to help them. Both were in pain but could not get away from each other. They were stuck! They were stuck! It became a “God moment “ where the Holy Spirit…
Posted in: accept and allow, betrayal, break free, Conflict, Control, deer head locks, Differences, fighting, forgive one another, Forgiveness, Freedom, Friendship, head lock, Heavenly Father, Intimacy, Kindness, relationships, set free, unlock
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Posted: October 3, 2016
One of these days I will de-clutter and re-organize my walk in closet. “One of those days” came on January 3 of this year when a portion of the closet broke away from the wall and dumped itself in the middle of the floor. As I sneezed through the attempt to rescue the drywall-covered mess, I came up with a plan. This was my time to rid the closet of all unnecessary clutter. I threw the rest of the clothes on the floor and added to that pile all the “stuff” out of my bins. Then began the ruthless process of de-cluttering and disposing. If I hadn’t worn it in the last 2 years or didn’t like it, it went into the “giveaway” pile. I was shocked to realize how much “stuff” was lurking and cluttering up my life. We Accumulate Unhealthy Habits There are times we need to STOP…
Posted in: Balancing life, Communication, de-clutter, Expectations, finances, frustrations, good conversation, Good Marriage, happiness, Intimacy, messes, Simple, Understanding each other
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Posted: June 14, 2016
Statistics explain that resentment is the number one killer of marriages. That may seem shocking or surprising but think about it this way. Two people come into an intimate relationship with different personalities, unspoken expectations, various cultural backgrounds and wanting the other person to make them blissfully happy. The silent, toxic killer is the “unspoken expectation.” For example: You’ve had a crushing day at work, gritted your teeth through the traffic jams, picked up groceries on your way and now it’s time to make a healthy family meal. Your husband picked up the children and by the time you arrive home everyone is hungry, tired and crabby. While you are trying to cook a meal, empty the dishwasher and keep the children happy, your husband is laying back on the recliner checking CNN news and Sports Illustrated. Every time you look over your feel taken for granted, frustrated and angry….
Posted in: communicate, Expectations, Friendship, good conversation, Good Marriage, Harmony, honesty, Intimacy, Listening, Resentment, SEX, true love, Understanding each other
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Posted: March 16, 2016
We have needs. We need food to stay alive. Sleep to stay healthy, focused and refreshed. Money to buy necessities. But we also have deep emotional needs that must be met. This is more than our “love languages”; this digs below the surface to see how our needs and love languages marry up. For example, I know my three love languages are: Acts of service, words of affirmation and physical touch. But here is an example of how those are connected with my needs: Acts of Service turn into – “When I ask for help I really need it!” I love it when Jack washes my car or picks up some groceries. Those beautiful, loving gestures respond to my love language. But my NEED is somewhat different. I am a very independent woman and don’t need help very often but when I do ask for it, I really NEED you…
Posted in: Acts of Service, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, companionship, Encouragement, Expectations, Friendship, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, Listening, love, needs, true love, Valued
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Posted: November 4, 2015
Many of us have said: “If I knew then what I know now.” But I know I did my best at 30, during the hectic days of spending my days in the car running children to their endless activities. Then at age 40 with teenagers and career. And so on. As the grey hair emerges, shouldn’t all profound wisdom should be right on its heels? But that’s not the case. I love what Maya Angelou says: “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” So now that I am older and smarter what can I unlock to do better? Unlock – Give back to society. I was at a fund raising breakfast this morning where the speaker affirmed something that resonated. “When we contribute back to society our lives are healed and enriched. “ Every day I am more aware that…
Posted in: 5 things, Balancing life, Communication, decisions, Encouragement, Freedom from Busyness, generosity, Good Marriage, happy, Harmony, Intimacy, love, Making Wise Choices, sleep, smart, technology, time, unlock
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Posted: October 3, 2015
I didn’t know. When a husband loves his wife, it compels her to return respect. When a wife respects her husband, it inspires him to love her. This is the perfect formula for a happy marriage. It took me years to figure this out but I testify it to be absolutely true. The bible says it this way: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy…” (Ephesians 5:25). It goes on to say: “…and the wife must respect her husband” (Ephesians 5:33). This is a principle that will work in most marriages, because I believe for the most husbands and wives want to extend goodwill and have a happy marriage. It saddens me to see marriages breaking up because of selfishness and a sense of entitlement that says: “He/she is not making me happy and meeting my needs,…
Posted in: Commitment, communicate, companionship, decisions, Encouragement, good conversation, Good Marriage, happiness, happy, Harmony, Intimacy, Listening, Making Wise Choices, power of words, Respect, smile, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: September 5, 2015
Vulnerability. Some men run from it and most women secretly crave it. For some people it leads to anxiety, and if there is shame involved, it can actually plummet to disconnection. But in order to have healthy, vibrant relationships in marriages and friendships we have to be open and vulnerable. This freeing revelation came to me in a comical moment in a fashionable women’s clothing store. I was enjoying the 50% off the last sale price moment when I heard this conversation behind me. One woman said: “I really like it, but it’s too tight on my top. You know I think as I grow older my bust is growing bigger.” Then my head whipped around as I head the sale clerk’s response.” That’s right, they do grow bigger as we get older. In fact the three things on our bodies that keep growing are our busts, noses and ears.”…
Posted in: Communication, Friendship, Good Marriage, honesty, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, Understanding each other, vulnerability, vulnerable
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