Blog: Kindness
Posted: September 5, 2011
Just in the last week several people have died because they were distracted while driving a motor vehicle. Recent statistics show that many motor vehicle accidents are no longer due to alcohol; but because the driver is distracted. Some of the distractions listed were, of all things, watching TV, texting, on the phone, reading or just not paying attention. Bottom line; because of a distraction they died. Our marriages are bombarded with that same game of jeopardy. When we recognize that this little piece of wires and plastic, (our cell phones, iPads or computers) takes precedence over “eyeball to eyeball” conversations, we’re on our way to a marriage wreck. I have witnessed couples out on a dinner date and the husband (or wife) looking at the top of each other’s heads as they are clicking away on text messages or checking their e-mails or Face book messages. Really, can this…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Overwhelmed and Undervalued, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: August 28, 2011
I saw the movie “The Help” this past week, and once again I saw and felt the burning passion in all of us to be free. Toward the end of the movie, one of the main characters, Aibileen finds the courage to stand up to the self-serving, manipulating, big bad Hilly Holbrook. Aibileen boldly claims that through the process of being able to speak about her life and bring her pain into the open, it validated her as a person and she found her voice. Those words were a spear into my heart because they are so true. When we are validated and accepted for who God created us to be, we find the confidence to speak up and defend our self worth. When we discover our self worth; it unleashes confidence and freedom. I believe God puts two imperfect people together to help them to chisel their characters into…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Patience, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: August 19, 2011
When someone in society breaks the law, the greatest punishment we can give them is to put them into prison. Lock them up; take away their freedom. Ask yourself this question right now, and try to visualize the answer; “What would my greatest freedom look like today?” If you have an answer to that question, let me ask you another question. “Is that picture of freedom within the boundaries of your marriage?” One of the greatest joys we can experience in this life is to be free in who God created us to be. Jesus Christ died on the cross to set us free from our self imposed prisons of guilt, shame and punishment. Yet, without realizing it, we create our own prisons in our marriages with that ugly word, control. To some degree we are all little control freaks. We have a vision of what life/marriage/husbands/children should look like,…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Control, Fear, Freedom, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Resentment, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: August 8, 2011
Dentists remind us of our checks ups so that we don’t get rotten teeth; we go to the doctor so that he can find diseases before they kill us, and girls; we need to have regular mammograms. If we don’t schedule these assessments, one day we may find our bodies in need of serious medical care. It’s no different with our cars or pets; so why would we overlook the most valuable part of our lives on this planet…our husbands? I did a check-in with my husband on our vineyard walk this week, and realized we had been missing a fun component that got lost in the distractions and demands of life; our trips to Seattle for the Washington Huskies football games. As soon as I mentioned this forgotten dream, his face lit up like a socket; and the minute we walked in the door of our home he got…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: July 30, 2011
I learn everything the hard way and this time is was from burning baby back ribs. My intentions were honorable, but it ended up all wrong. I made a huge batch of baby back ribs; one serving for neighbors that were going through a difficult family circumstance, and one portion for our family. The ribs had cooked too long and so the outside sections were burned. I separated the ribs; the burnt ones for our family, and the succulent, perfect ribs for our neighbors. My husband Dick watched me separate the ribs and with a hurt, horrified look on his face, he quietly commented, “So we get the burnt ones?” My self-righteous, good neighborly reply was, “Yup!” I thought I was doing a good, Godly, neighborly act of love, but in the meantime I destroyed my husband and family’s valuable place in my life. I realized I had placed more significance…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: July 2, 2011
I’m going to give you a radical challenge that just may change the dynamics of your marriage. For the next 30 days, let’s agree to do this: “Hands off” your spouse. Here are some examples of what I mean. If your husband forgot to put out the garbage, don’t berate him. Let it go and take it out yourself. You may say something like this, “Honey, I saw that you forgot to put out the garbage, but don’t fret; I took it out for you.” Your husband is watching sports but he should be helping you bathe the children or clean up the kitchen. Remember I said radical! Go over to him and say, “Sweetheart, I am more than happy to clean up the kitchen myself and bathe the children. You enjoy your football game. By the way, can I bring you a cold drink?” Don’t manipulate him to come…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty through Boldness, Communication, Encouragement, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: June 25, 2011
This was one of the most bizarre stories I ever heard. My son-in-law Tim was telling me how he grows hybrid canola. This is what he told me, “Hybrid canola is grown in rows with the ‘females’ in one row, and the ‘males’ in adjacent rows. Then they import honey bees and leafcutter bees to pollinate the canola. After pollination is complete, the ‘male’ rows are mowed out, since they do not produce the desired type of seed.” This seems to be the sequence of events in many marriages. Man and woman fall in love, they pollinate (have babies) and once the male is no longer useful, he is being mowed down. I don’t believe I am being to brazen by saying this so bluntly, because I have heard women “mowing down men” in various, cutting ways. Once men no longer meet our expectations, we can cut them down by…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: June 10, 2011
Tension in a marriage can be good. But by the time some people finish reading this blog about tension they may be shouting, “Get rid of the jerk, he/she’s not worth it.” Apparently they were worth it at one time; the day you were both all dressed up in your finest attire, surrounded by family and friends and declaring your love for each other for the “rest of your lives.” Our modern day lifestyle plays havoc with our marriages; especially during the years where we are cultivating our careers, nurturing our children, trying to stay in the black in our bank accounts and carving out some fun recreational activities. I believe that much of the tension arises by both spouses feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, frustrated and then angry. Instead of throwing in the towel and saying, “I don’t love you anymore, and I’m leaving”…see the tension as a golden opportunity for…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Communication, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Overcoming Struggles, Overwhelmed and Undervalued, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: June 4, 2011
Every one of us is a minefield full of treasures. Most of those minefields are pain, frustration, disappointment, bitterness and anger because of unmet expectations. So how does that turn into a treasure? Follow me along on a treasure hunt. To do that I need to tell you a little story. There was a man who ran across American, coast to coast. When he completed this arduous, compelling and harsh task, he was met by the news media, with TV cameras and microphones being shoved into his face. The reporters asked him, “What was the hardest part of this year long trek? Was it the heat in the summer? Was it the fatigue? Was it the loneliness? Was it the relentless distance?” The runner replied without any hesitation, “No, it was the sand in my shoes.” Ok what does that have to do with expectations? Everything! When we have expectations,…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Fear, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment
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Posted: May 6, 2011
For over twenty-five years I have been the only woman in the Boardroom and in Manager’s Meetings. You would think that by now I would know how to phrase my questions and conversations so that I can engage men in productive and meaningful conversations. Think again. Apparently not;I am constantly learning. This week my question was, “Hey guys, I need to order a cake for the Retirement Party; should we get fancy or funny?” They looked at me as though I was Neanderthal woman, turned away from me and broke into animated conversation with each other about the hockey play-offs. That ended the conversation. If the majority of men are interested in talking about cakes; think again. In all my blogs about marriage, please know there is always a disclaimer. Keep in mind that I am writing about men in general. There are certain men that if you asked them…
Posted in: Beauty through Boldness, Encouragement, Expectations, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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