Blog: suffering
Posted: December 10, 2023
It was May 2020 and three months had gone by without me receiving any human connection or a hug. The isolation of Covid did that to us. We were saving lives by locking ourselves up in our homes; so they said. Being single, an extrovert and someone who thrives on the companionship and joy of being with other people, I was slowly dying inside. It was the end of May and I agreed to meet my friend Joanne to remove rocks in preparation of a horse compound. We arrived together, got out of our cars, looked both ways (to make sure nobody was watching us hug) and hugged like crazy. It felt so good and right, and tears flowed down my cheeks. Oh the power of a loving hug. When we’re thrown in jail for a crime we’ve committed, the biggest punishment is being put into solitary confinement. Society knows…
Posted in: alone, alone at Christmas, Christmas, companionship, Covid-19, failure to thrive, happiness needs to be shared, hugs, isolation, loneliness epidemic, power of hugs, singleness at Christmas, suffering, we need each other
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Posted: September 11, 2022
Over the past few years my grandson Brandon and I, have started a wonderful and fruitful tradition of canning peaches. It’s hard work, we get very sweaty but it’s also fun and the results are so rewarding and meaningful. This year I discovered a little more about the life of a peach. Firstly, the harsh winter froze many peach buds, making it a very limited peach harvest. Thus doubled the price of peaches. But thankfully I have a great relationship with the family that owns a fruit stand down the road from where I live and I was able to get quite a few pounds of this desired fruit. Here’s what I discovered. Here’s what I discovered: Some were not able to survive the long, cold and dark winter. The fruit that did survive the winter took a longer time to ripen. Even though we’re at the end of the…
Posted in: adversity, alone, bitterness, canning peaches, decisions, don't give up, endurance, graft into Jesus, grief, meaningful, pathway through wilderness, pray, resilience, seasons of darkness, seasons of life, something new, suffering, sweet fruit, troubles, trust Good
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Posted: April 10, 2022
It’s been years since I attended an “in home” Baby Shower, but I was honoured to be at one this past weekend. Covid sabotaged so many celebrations but once again we are able and privileged to come into each other’s homes and celebrate with joy and laughter. And there was an abundance of that. That’s what the anticipation of new life evokes. Joy, dreams, hopes and plans. We didn’t talk about messy diapers and all night feedings, but focused on the smell, softness and cuddliness of a tiny miracle creation. I also got to hold a four-week old baby, and what is it about the sweetness of the smell? The sweetness of holding a baby! Sunday morning as I drove into church I noticed the magnolias trees were in full bloom. Oh my heart, the beauty of the pink/fuchsia being a sign of the emergence of a new season. It…
Posted in: adversity, Anticipation, ask God, beauty and pain coexist, Christ in us, disappointments, each day has enough troubles of its own, happy heart, laughter, new birth, Overcoming Struggles, suffering, waiting
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Posted: March 8, 2021
Let’s face it; we don’t like being thrust out of our comfort zone. But if we knew that adversity revealed our destiny and freedom, how would we handle life differently? Even when we can’t see it, it’s when we’re in the fire of adversity where we become more beautiful from the inside out. It’s in the firestorms of life where we find our freedom. How is that possible? In the book of Daniel there were three young men named Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego who disobeyed King Nebuchadnezzar’s orders and were thrown into the fiery furnace. The King ordered the strongest men of his army to securely tie up the three disobedient protestors and throw them into the blazing furnace. Did you notice there were tied up? Because when they came out of the furnace they were unscathed, and the only item that burned were the ropes binding them together. And,…
Posted in: adversity, ask God, beauty and joy, Beauty from the Inside Out, fiery furnace, fiery furnae, Freedom, fresh joy, grace, joy, Offenses, pain, people pleasing, perfectionism, refined like silver, suffering
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Posted: November 24, 2019
I’ve known her for forty-two intimate years and call her “she.” By the skin of her teeth I saved her from being discarded and thrown into a dumpster. This beat up, rickety, paint splattered ladder became an important part of our family’s life. After I cleaned her up and gave her two coats of dazzling white, she was the focal point at Christmas. Covered in garland, treasures and gift bags she stood out as the “belle of Christmas”. Two weeks before Christmas in 1994 when my first husband Dick died playing basketball we ran out of spots to place funeral flowers. Friends used the rungs of the ladder to place flowers, and I was horrified so see “her” being desecrated as a reminder of darkness and pain instead of Christmas joy. After I was remarried to my beloved Jack, it was time to face the reality of reviving Christmas and…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Christmas, Christmas joy, Christmas ladder, circumstances, decisions, from glory to glory, God's love, God's promises, God's promises are true, Jesus, joy, recapture your joy, refined like silver, refining process, suffering, transformatin, transformation, trust Good
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Posted: July 7, 2019
I’ve earned the “School of Hard Knocks” degree of being a Grief Expert through no choice of my own. After being widowed twice, losing my dad through ALS, my mother through myelodysplasia plus a myriad of other loses; I’ve heard every encouraging, and not so, encouraging word. After reading that wonderful article by Celeste Headlee in her Huffpost article, I wanted to add a few of my personal favourites. Please don’t berate yourself if you find your words in any of the following scripts. Grief is the most painful feeling we encounter while we walk this earth. It’s outrageously personal. It’s love with no place to go. It’s awkward. It’s the walking wounded and nothing you say is right or wrong or will make it better. I love it when people try to say something, instead of not making eye contact or walking away. I’ve been one of the fortunate…
Posted in: alone, Christ, cry, death, Encouragement, friends, God's love, grief, Heavenly Father, honesty, joy, Kindness, laugh, listen, love never fails, pain, pray, relationships, smile, suffering
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Posted: June 23, 2019
We want to be nice girls so we stuff our feelings, paste on a plastic smile and carry on. Inwardly the heart churns and toxic fumes accumulate as we drink our own poison hoping the other person will die. Resentment is the number one killer of relationships, especially marriages. I’m a beaten up expert on this topic as I learned how to recognize and survive this toxic crisis in my first marriage. I recall how each time I felt resentment, I wanted to pick up a rock and throw it toward my enemy. But because I tried to have harmony in the home I hid the rock (my anger) and put it into a pretty little imaginary box where it would be nice and safe. I was clueless about the dangers of ultimate explosions. I did not know that resentment was: Feeling heartbroken after exerting a great deal of effort…
Posted in: Communication, Conflict, confront conflict, decisions, Expectations, faulty thinking, Forgiveness, Friendship, grief, happy, honest, intimacy destroyer, listen, Making Wise Choices, personalities, Resentment, suffering, Tension
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Posted: February 12, 2019
I know you can relate when I tell you I’ve caused myself a lot of unnecessary suffering because of lies I believe. For example: Lying awake at night because I made a mistake, did something where I didn’t measure up, said the wrong thing again or misinterpreted a comment. Imagine what joyful and fruitful lives we could experience by overcoming some of the daily, debilitating lies. We know all our shortcomings and foibles so it’s easy to condemn ourselves. God’s truth seems so perfect and unreachable. The reality is that we live in a world of truth and lies The list of lies is endless but I will tackle three. This is my personality. Really? Your personality was shaped through all the imperfect script, images, information and your environment. Yes, a large portion of it was passed through your family genes, but God is in the people transformation business. You’re…
Posted in: adversity, angry, ask God, Beauty from the Inside Out, Christ, decisions, disappointment, disappointments, Expectations, Faith, False Belief Systems, faulty thinking, feeling bad, Freedom, God's love, grief, happiness, healing, joy, lies, love, messes, needs, Overcoming Struggles, pain, personalities, pray, self worth, self-esteem, suffering, temporary, Valued
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Posted: January 13, 2019
In our present “me first” generation how do we separate selfishness from self-compassion? Haven’t our last few decades erupted with some self-entitled children, and a society that is enamoured with happiness at all costs? Where did we go wrong? After all, the only thing we wanted was a happy life and happy children with solid self-esteem. Too often we felt the pain of disappointment and failure and wanted to protect our children from experiencing those devastating feelings at all costs. So everyone wins. Everyone gets a trophy. Yayy, you’re a winner and entitled to feel that way. We’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy again. But, this creates selfishness. Yes, it’s extremely important how we play the game, but the fact remains that life is also about losing. We have to learn to lose, to feel rejected and disappointed. We don’t always get our way, everyone doesn’t always…
Posted in: disappointment, Expectations, fulfillment, God's love, happiness, happy, loneliness, love, perfection, relationships, self worth, Self-compassion, self-esteem, selfishness, suffering, vulnerable
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