Blog: Tension
Posted: October 8, 2024
My favourite festivity of the year is, hands down, Thanksgiving. It surpasses Christmas and birthdays. I love it for many reasons. The changing of colours in the landscape into yellow, orange and red. The smell and variety of harvest fruits and vegetables. Cooler days which invite perfect days for hiking and golfing. A heart filled with thanksgiving and the best part…we don’t have to expend energy to buy unnecessary gifts. Little bits of fall decorating in my home help to set the ambiance and getting the house ready for a sumptuous Thanksgiving dinner. And we want it to be perfect don’t we? Sadly I’ve had many disappointments and disasters. Let me take you back to the worst one in 2018. The worst one was in 2018. The Thanksgiving table was beautifully decorated with my best linen tablecloth, candles, leaves, dried wheat and all my best china and crystal glasses. Because…
Posted in: adventure, ambiance, be creative, circumstances, confront conflict, decisions, desires, disappointments, disasters, each day has enough troubles of its own, Encouragement, Expectations, Families, fresh joy, fUN, good conversation, happy meals, home sweet home, hospitality, joy, Laughter, love lives here, presents, regret, Tension, thankful, thanksgiving
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Posted: June 10, 2024
We want to be nice girls so we stuff our feelings, paste on a plastic smile and carry on. Inwardly the heart churns and toxic fumes accumulate as we drink our own poison hoping the other person will die. Resentment is the number one killer of relationships, especially marriages. I consider myself an expert on this topic as I learned how to recognize and survive this toxic crisis in my first marriage. I recall how each time I felt resentment, I wanted to pick up a rock and throw it toward my enemy. But because I tried to have harmony in the home I hid the rock (my anger) and put it into a pretty little imaginary box where it would be nice and safe. I was clueless about the dangers of ultimate explosions. I did not know that resentment was: Feeling heartbroken after exerting a great deal of effort…
Posted in: accusations, adversity, angry, Anticipation, anxiety, ask God, Assumptions, betrayal, confront conflict, disappointments, do the hard work, don't give up, Expectations, faulty thinking, Finding Truth, forgive one another, frustrations, grit, healing, honest, Hope, messes, Offenses, Overcoming Struggles, power of words, relationships, Resentment, set free, shame, take care of your heart, Tension, trouble, Understanding each other, worry
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Posted: June 23, 2019
We want to be nice girls so we stuff our feelings, paste on a plastic smile and carry on. Inwardly the heart churns and toxic fumes accumulate as we drink our own poison hoping the other person will die. Resentment is the number one killer of relationships, especially marriages. I’m a beaten up expert on this topic as I learned how to recognize and survive this toxic crisis in my first marriage. I recall how each time I felt resentment, I wanted to pick up a rock and throw it toward my enemy. But because I tried to have harmony in the home I hid the rock (my anger) and put it into a pretty little imaginary box where it would be nice and safe. I was clueless about the dangers of ultimate explosions. I did not know that resentment was: Feeling heartbroken after exerting a great deal of effort…
Posted in: Communication, Conflict, confront conflict, decisions, Expectations, faulty thinking, Forgiveness, Friendship, grief, happy, honest, intimacy destroyer, listen, Making Wise Choices, personalities, Resentment, suffering, Tension
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Posted: December 14, 2015
I realize when I talk about tinsel on Christmas trees it’s in the same category as VHS and Pac man. Tinsel holds a special place in my heart because in our home the execution of tinsel had to be done perfectly. No more than three or four strands on the end of each branch, and if you don’t have the patience for that; well then go and finish your apple cider. But we had a dog. A big dog named Brutus! I can’t recall the many times we came home from an event to find our magnificent tree on the floor. A tangled mess of bulbs, candy canes, lights and oh the tangled tinsel. Trying to untangle tinsel left our family frustrated and snapping at each other. “Who left the dog on the house anyway?” “Who is going to clean up this mess?” “Come on you guys, everyone has to…
Posted in: adversity, Balancing life, Christmas, Conflict, Expectations, Good Marriage, happy, Laughter, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Peace, Pleasure, Simple, smart, Tension, untangle
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Posted: September 24, 2014
I saw a newscast video on CNN last week that showed a young boy standing by the side of the road holding a sign that said, “I hit little girls.” The boy’s dad used this cruel masquerade as punishment for bad behavior. When the mom found out what was going on she was rightfully furious. She protested because she knew this would cause her son immense shame for the rest of his life. She also hinted at the fact that the dad was doing to his son that which had been done to him. Shame, if not dealt with, gets passed on. As you are reading this you might suggest shame does not apply to you, but let me assure you that shame is universal. Blaming, gossiping, name calling, bullying are behaviors that have permeated our culture. We all have it in some degree and the greatest antidote to destroying…
Posted in: Communication, Conflict, Control, Differences, Finding Truth, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, intimacy destroyer, Listening, love, power of words, secrets, Tension, Understanding each other
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Posted: March 8, 2014
Those boys hurt my feelings” pouted my little three year old granddaughter. As we walked I held her hand and consoled her. But I must confess that inwardly I was shocked that a three year old child had the insight to express how she felt. But then again, she is female and very much in touch with her inner self. But we have to understand that our feelings are fickle. They betray us because emotions don’t have intellect. They don’t think clearly, hardly ever steer us in the right direction and often they distort the truth. If we try to recount an emotional incidence that happened in the past, the story has great possibility to be distorted. Why…because our emotions can be stronger than the truth. As a speaker I often make this statement because I know it to be true: “My audience may not remember what I said, but they…
Posted in: Commitment, Communication, companionship, Finding Truth, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, love, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, power of words, Tension
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Posted: March 24, 2013
A few weeks ago while visiting with my parents in Kelowna, British Columbia, my mom and I started talking about marriage. She looked me straight in the eyes and asked: “Sweetie, what do you think is one of the most important ingredients in a marriage to make it successful?” My instant and candid response was, “Communication”. My husband Tim and I have been married for over twenty years and, and in my experience, the happiest times in our marriage are the times when we are communicating well with each other. This is not something that happens overnight. When Tim and I started dating, we would sit side by side on a bench in the park for long periods of time and not say anything to each other. I remember thinking; “Is this really the right person for me? We hardly know what to say to each other?” Over the years…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Listening, Overcoming Struggles, Patience, power of words, Resentment, Respect, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: February 16, 2013
No wonder there is conflict in marriages. After conducting these surveys I am convinced that men and women come from two different planets. But we are all magnificently and wonderfully made and it is up to us to unleash the mystery of our polarities. I believe with all my heart that God puts two people together to “sandpaper them into the glorious creations He designed them to become.” Let’s not sabotage that process due to our ignorance. OK men, are you ready to hear what women dislike what you do or don’t do? PLEASE READ TO THE END OF THE BLOG FOR A POWERFUL AND PRACTICAL CHALLENGE. 1. Clam-up Charlie-This one spoke so loud I almost had to cover my ears. Women dislike it that men dismiss the value of honest and forthright communication. • When they clam up and not say anything because they feel that what they say…
Posted in: Beauty through Boldness, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Listening, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, Power of the Tongue, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: February 7, 2013
I have had some very interesting conversations with men in the last couple of weeks. My dear reader, if we truly pursue to understand what is going on in a man’s mind, we can build bridges to greater understanding and in turn we will receive the love we so desperately need. I believe most women are eager to please our husbands, children, family, boss and friends. If we have a clearer picture of what is expected of us, and in turn make the men in our lives aware of our needs, this knowledge builds a great foundation for loving and joyful relationships. So let’s take another glimpse into the mystery of a man’s mind. Today these points are in not in any order of priority. 9. The Beauty Queen-These women think their looks will get them whatever they want. They can’t walk in front of a mirror without constantly primping….
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Listening, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, Power of the Tongue, power of words, Respect, SEX, Tension, Understanding each other
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Posted: January 25, 2013
To unravel the mystery of a man’s mind, we women need practical and useful information. That’s what I set out to discover. I conducted a survey amongst some of my favorite men, and asked them to provide me with a list of things they “dislike what women do.” Here are their top responses. I give credit to my friend Darrell who provided some names for women’s actions: 1. Diva-This was by far the strongest “dislike” amongst the men. This is when women use drama to get their way. This drama can include guilt, exaggeration, tears and acting cute and coy. Women we have to remember that we like to use our emotions; but men are fixers. When we use this drama to get our way, it will either push men away because they don’t know how to handle our emotions, OR they will try to “fix us” as quickly as…
Posted in: Anticipation, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Hope, Intimacy, Listening, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Power of the Tongue, Resentment, Respect, SEX, Tension, Understanding each other
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