DISAPPOINTMENTS-by Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: August 4, 2024
Disappointments are part of every day life. We didn’t get that parking spot, the food didn’t match up to the price, and your flight was delayed or cancelled. The new outfit doesn’t look as great as you thought and the summer company you were excited about ended up causing chaos.
Often we glibly say: “We need to just get over it.” But disappointments can leave us mildly irritated or they can crush our soul. Because there are disappointments that are life changing. They may not be a death but it actually feels like it. The Doctor told you it was multiple myeloma or brain tumour, you find out your grandchild is addicted to drugs or gambling, you discover your business is going bankrupt and you will lose the house you love. Your spouse tells you he/she don’t love you anymore.
Those disappointments are like a death.
I’ve talked to many people in the last month who are going through deep, and crushing disappointments. They can’t understand why they feel so sad and even somewhat depressed. I suggested they might be in grief, because I believe they are. Grief isn’t just about death, it’s a death of a hope, of a dream, a loss in a sense that life will never be quite the same again.
Life will never be quite the same again.
If this is you today, be kind to yourself and allow yourself time to grieve. Don’t try to gloss over or numb your unpleasant emotions. Sit in your pain and take time to cry, to lament, and to share your pain with someone who will empathize, listen and understand. Those friends who truly understand are rare but I know we all have someone who will listen.
I’ve also experienced a lot of losses in the last month and a half, and I’ve had to listen to my own advice. I’ve allowed myself to cry, acknowledge my loss and sit in my sadness. And then to give it over to God, and let God renew my hope, and my strength, and how He will work it out in the future to bring goodness out of it.
I also felt God nudging me and telling me to look for unusual treasures in the midst of the sadness and darkness. And I’ve purposefully done that and found something to be thankful for each day. That gratitude didn’t change my disappointment but it changed my focus and my perspective. It changed my feelings.
You see we’re only human, and we can only see and feel what we are experiencing in the moment. But God can see beyond that. He can use our pain and disappointments for something good… something we could never even dream or imagine. Hang onto that hope my friend and believe it.
