THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-Faulty Accusations
Posted: June 13, 2015
Asking good questions and find truth about other people’s actions is crucial for our happiness. If we harbour faulty accusations of “why” someone did or said something, it can build resentment and destroy a relationship. One of the greatest tools of the enemy (also called the Accuser) is to implant faulty accusations and then divide and conquer. If Satan can destroy our marriages and families, that destruction can filter down into our churches, communities, schools and government. Everywhere.
Faulty accusations usually start small, and then take on a life of their own. For example:
- You tell your spouse you need a new kitchen appliance or a new patio set. His answer is simply “No.” You are annoyed and in your mind you accuse him of being stingy, small minded and uncaring. The next time you are with your girlfriends you tell them how he doesn’t care about your needs. Your girlfriends agree, and throw fuel on the fire by agreeing that he is an uncaring slob. Then in your mind you begin to think your husband is meaner and more uncaring than you thought in the first place.
Truth: Things are not going well at your spouse’s workplace and he might get laid off in the next month. Money is tight and right now you can’t afford to buy anything unless it is an emergency.
- You have some exciting news and the minute your husband walks through the door after work you bombard him with all the wonderful information. He doesn’t seem excited, in fact he walks away and sits at his computer and checks the latest sports news. In your mind you accuse him of being uncaring and you feel unheard and unloved.
Truth: Your husband has been in meetings all day, he is exhausted and he still has many unsolved problems rolling around in his head. Right now all he wants to do is something meaningless and enjoyable until he can clear his head.
- Your spouse never remembers birthdays or anniversaries. In fact he never calls his parents and you always have to remind him to do something nice for his family. In your mind you accuse him of being uncaring, cold and unemotional.
Truth: Your husband was raised in a home where birthdays, Christmas celebrations and other demonstrations of family rituals or affections were never expressed. He doesn’t know how to reach out and express his feelings.
These are 3 very simple examples, but I could give endless pages of examples of faulty accusations we compile in our minds. There are extremely serious ones like accusations of perceived affairs, mishandling of money or time, misinterpretation of words or even facial expressions. Unless we clarify our perceptions, we will begin to formulate a faulty image of who the other person really is. We have to understand “WHY” the other person did what they did. We need to find truth.
The bible tells us: “Be careful! Watch out for the devil, your great enemy. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for some victim to devour. Take a firm stand against him, and be strong in your faith” (1 Peter 5: 8,9 NLT).
One of the easiest ways for the enemy to devour a marriage is through faulty accusations. Right now, make a resolve to take a stand to ask the right questions so that truth prevails and harmony remains.
