UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-“Do you Hear Me?”
Posted: December 2, 2011
This is a guest post from a young woman that I have been mentoring for the past 15 years. Cheryl Klippenstein and her husband Rod are the beautiful parents of 3 boys. I love the way they are raising their boys, not only to know God, but guide them to become young men who will exemplify the beautiful and powerful qualities that God has given them. You will love Cheryl’s story; because I think each one of us has been there.
It was supposed to be a great weekend. My husband was away with the military so I had planned a fun weekend with my three boys. I had rented a movie for Friday night and then on Saturday we were going for a play and lunch date at a friend’s house. Sunday would be church and a quiet afternoon of football and some games. Then everything changed at supper when my oldest son Noah said, “Mom I don’t feel very good.” I told him to finish supper and then surely he would feel better. As the night wore on it was clear that he was not going to feel better and it was going to get drastically worse. Looking after one sick kid is one thing, however I have three boys ranging in age from 7, 4.5 and 6 months old. Looking after my oldest son, who was feeling worse by the minute and taking care of the baby, was proving to be quite the challenge. I set up the middle child, Micah to look after the baby and then I set about trying to help Noah who was now in tears over an empty bucket.
I called my husband to inform him of what was going and that he may need to come home but I would keep him posted and hopefully it would all blow over. About half an hour later it did blow over with Noah puking in the hall and the bathroom floor and everywhere but the toilet. I began cleaning up the mess and then the baby, Joshua, started crying. Oh dear. How am I going to do this? I called in some reinforcements from a friend. She came and helped look after the baby and read books to Micah. I got everyone to bed with my friend’s help and then began the task of cleaning up. I thanked my friend, sent her home and then went to check on the boys. As I got closer to the boys room it was clear that something was wrong. My oldest, Noah had gotten sick all over his bed and fallen back asleep. He was covered. Oh dear. I called my husband again and told him he needed to make arrangements to come home as soon as he could. He said he would try to be home Saturday sometime.
I then began the difficult task of cleaning up Noah and his room. Well he wasn’t done being sick and he continued to do so for the next several hours. I phoned my husband again and said you need to come home now because I cannot do this on my own especially because of the baby. My husband said he would see what he could do and call me back in a few minutes. See my husband was out of town so coming home was not a simple 5 minute drive. He phoned me back and said he would be home in three hours. Praise god he had heard me. My husband had heard me and was coming home to help.
Isn’t it nice to be heard? I mean really heard. Too often in a marriage we don’t really hear what the other spouse is saying. As women we are guilty of saying things but not really saying anything. Oh come on, you know what I mean. Telling your husband in a hundred different ways you want something but not coming out and actually saying in plain English what it is you are seeking. Our husbands are amazing but they are not mind readers. Husbands are equally guilty of not listening. To get your spouse to listen to you, you need to make sure you have their undivided attention. Not doing so can cause problems. It certainly has for me. When I tell my husband Rod exactly what is wrong and what I need, he can begin to formulate a plan to help me. Husbands love to help. They love to rescue the women in their lives, however they need to know what is wrong.
Are you being heard? What do you need to do today to get your spouse to hear you? Asking yourself these questions could change the communication lines in your marriage. Perhaps you’re in a situation where you feel you cannot even talk to your spouse. Then you need to take your requests to God. He will hear you. In the book of Psalms there are many verses that speak of God hearing our prayers. Psalm 62:8 says, “Trust in Him (God) at all times, O people; Pour your heart before Him.” God will hear you. I can promise you that. Pray too for your spouse. Pray that they may have listening ears to hear what you are saying. Furthermore, say what you want. Be as clear and concise as you can be when talking to your spouse.
So for me, I was heard this time. It may not always be that way but in this situation Rod heard me and I am grateful for that.
