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What Do I Really Want?-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: September 25, 2020

My three-year-old grandson Austin was bored and hungry.  He opened the pantry door and with a perplexed look stared at all the tempting food.  “Sweetie,” I said, “what do you want?” He kept staring and responded: “I want what I want.” “What is it you want?” I repeated.  He kept repeating: “I want what I want.” I recognized his craving; he wanted something to make him feel better, happier but he wasn’t sure what that would be.

Isn’t that like most of us?  We wake up in the morning and we want something to make us happier. We want Covid to be over. Even if life wasn’t perfect, we want it to be back to normal. We want what we want but not exactly sure what that would look like. Just something to make us feel better. More sleep, a better job, more money, happier children, a more attentive husband, a new Michael Kors bag, a pedicure.

Anything to fill that empty gnawing in our soul.

I understand.  I looked for “something” to make me happy every single day.  When I graduated I wanted a handsome husband, two adorable children, then the beautiful house in the cul-de-sac.  An exciting career, a shiny car, lots of shoes and someone to listen to all my woes.  I have had all that, but looking back it was all just fleeting happiness. Temporary. Then wanting more.

This world has a lot of bling, enticement and everything we want to make us feel better. Craving “something” will be part of our yearning while living on this planet. Nothing will feel perfect for any extended period of time. But we have to remember that our soul craves for something that only Heaven can satisfy.  When Jesus left this earth He give us the greatest gift, He said: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27).

Do not let your hearts be troubled.

So here’s what I really want. The Gift of Peace! To wake up each morning and be content with what I already have. Realizing that nothing on this earth will satisfy me, I look to the One who can give me what I NEED.  Jesus. When I seek Jesus and ask Him to fulfill me and give me peace, I know He will give me just what I NEED.

Not want, but need.

I need to know His love for me. I need to know that I am not condemned for my past sins. I need to know He will be with me in my mess. That He has a good future for me, that He will give me wisdom, truth and grace.  That He will fill every aching chamber of my needy, messy soul. I need His peace. 

So every morning I tell Jesus, “Today I need You to be my best friend, and to give me the very best day I will ever have. Then I watch Him go to work.

That’s what I really want.

 

 

Posted in: ask God, Cravings, empty soul, Expectations, feeling good, gift of peace, happy, needs, normal, Overcoming Fear, recapture your joy, troubled hearts, want or need, what is normal