Blog: Commitment
Posted: January 25, 2014
Our greatest quest in life is to be happy. I read an article in a British Columbia newspaper last week that stated: “Canada had the highest, per capita, drug usage for depression.” Many people feel that they are entitled to “living the dream” but can’t seem to achieve their dreams, their perfect marriage or the happiness that they feel they deserve. I am curious about this state of happiness. Happiness depends on our circumstances and even when we achieve our goals, dreams and the perfect life, we all know that it only last for a little while. That “happy feeling” is so fickle and fleeting. It disappears much faster than we thought it would. So we’re onto the next thing that will give us that pleasure jolt of feeling happy, happy, happy. If something disappears that quickly, surely there must be something wrong with it.. This is especially true in…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Boring marriage, Commitment, Communication, companionship, Expectations, Finding Truth, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, Laughter, love, Making Wise Choices, Power of the Tongue, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: October 21, 2013
It’s a gift to be able to enjoy life by learning to live in the moment. But perhaps we’ve taken this too far. Even though we’ve overused the words “instant gratification”, I believe there is value in unpacking its dangers when it encroaches on our marriage and family life. Let me explain. Even as I am writing this, I am sitting by the bedside of my 88 year old mother who will soon come face to face with Jesus. Over the past week many of our family members have flown in to express their good-bye to this extraordinary woman.She is not extraordinary because of her many accomplishments. She never wrote a book, won any prizes, or made the newspaper headlines for some notorious act of valor or media releases.But she soaked our family with love through her unfailing prayers and gratefulness. Just this morning she softly breathed the words, “Our…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Commitment, companionship, Encouragement, Faith, Finding Truth, God' Love, Legacy, love, Making Wise Choices, Peace, resilient, self gratification, Understanding each other
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Posted: September 6, 2013
Books can’t prepare you for this. Life is just not perfect. Real marriage starts when you wake up with someone day after day, through the laughter and the stomach flu; that you really find out who this” other person” is. While we are in the dating and “chemical stage” (pleasure chemicals flowing through our bodies) we don’t really let people know the authentic, and even darker sides of our personality. I had the great pleasure of observing a 21 year marriage recently, where the husband and wife have learned to cohabitate in chaos and in peace. The husband is stimulated by chaos. What I mean by that is that his office looks like the aftermath of a hurricane, yet he knows where everything is and everything gets all his work done successfully. While is he on his phone he is also able to fix machinery, empty a dishwasher, check invoices…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Boring marriage, chaos, Commitment, companionship, Conflict, Differences, Encouragement, Expectations, Faith, Friendship, fUN, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Peace, Respect, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: August 17, 2013
This summer I took the time to watch some reality T.V. about lavish weddings and wedding dresses. I saw snippets of Say YES to the Dress, Four Weddings, and Bridezillas. Some comments that made my jaw drop were: “Ever since I was a little girls I dreamed about having this….You can’t deprive me of this.” “It’s my day and you WILL wear this bridesmaid dress.” “I had to fire my first wedding planner because she wasn’t getting daddy to approve all my wishes.” “Daddy you’re breaking my heart because you know how much I want this. This is supposed to be MY perfect day.” To me it all sounded like these brides were preparing for the biggest, most fun and extravagant event of their lives. How many of us took the time to play the movie forward as to what this marriage would look like in the next 10-15 years….
Posted in: 5 things, Assumptions, Commitment, Communication, companionship, Conflict, Expectations, God' Love, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, Kindness, Listening, love, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Patience, power of words, Understanding each other, wedding day, weddings
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Posted: June 28, 2013
Nature abhors a vacuum. An emotional or spiritual vacuum is “destruction just waiting to happen.”In a marriage relationship, a vacuum is an alarming red flag. It defines a gnawing loneliness of the worst kind. Being attached to someone through the process of vows and signatures on paper, and then feeling emotionally alone and vacant, is worse than having been alone on the first place. It says in the first book of the bible in Genesis 2:18 “It is not good for man to be alone.” You and I were created for intimate relationship and when we feel disconnected we have a vacuum inside of us bigger than the Grand Canyon. Here is why it is so dangerous to walk around with a vacuum in our souls. When there is a vacuum in nature, it will do whatever it can to fill it immediately. In a flood, the water will directly…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Commitment, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, loneliness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, power of words, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: June 14, 2013
Through 48 years consisting of 2 marriages, I have learned the significant parts that husbands have in alleviating family stress and tension and promoting peace and harmony.It simply requires that a man step up to be proactive, rather than withdrawing and isolating himself from what goes on in the home. I experienced a very positive example of this several years when my wife Heidi and I were invited to spend a weekend with a couple and their three children. We looked forward to the visit with keen anticipation of skiing on one of our British Columbia, Canada’s most outstanding mountains.It is to be understood that preparation for a family ski trip can be fairly chaotic with the amount of equipment that walks away and the socks that are eaten by the clothes dryer. However, in this case, the preparation for the departure was a thing of beauty. We woke up…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Commitment, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Friendship, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Pleasure, power of words, Prayer, Respect, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: May 11, 2013
There are a few things sadder than watching a marriage disintegrate to the point where a conversation consists of “Pass the peas, please”. The relationship that has brought you together does not simply decay overnight. When couples allow themselves to lose interest in each other, dry rot sets in and eventually the structure disintegrates. From a male perspective, I believe that a man’s wife retains her husband’s interest as she observes some of the following: 1. Allowing for the changes that occur as we become older; dress and attend to yourself in a manner that attracted him to you in the first place. I am not talking about dressing like a “femme fatale” but rather paying attention to neatness for which a husband can be justifiably proud. 2. Retain your intellectual curiosity and ability to carry on meaningful conversations.Contrary to opinion, a husband appreciates a good conversation with an informed…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Commitment, Communication, Encouragement, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Respect, Understanding each other
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Posted: April 27, 2013
CNN stated that Katherine Tsarnaeva (Russell), the wife of the deceased Boston Bomber, claims “she was completely in the dark about her husband’s alleged plan to bomb the Boston Marathon.” Katherine’s lawyer also stated: “Reports of involvement by her husband and brother-in-law came as an absolute shock to them all.” As you and I read these excerpts, we must wonder how it is possible to be married to someone who carries such dark and insidious secrets. Yet we must recognize that there is a dark side to all of us. Secrets are destructive and toxic. They will not evaporate over time and free us from their claws, in fact; they will grow their sinister barnacles into the fabric of our soul. Anything that is kept in the dark holds power over us. Especially in our marriages. This is a tough topic because no one wants to talk about their secrets….
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Commitment, Communication, counsellor, Encouragement, Expectations, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, messes, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Power of the Tongue, sabotage, secrets
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Posted: April 13, 2013
If I had one wish that would get answered with the snap of a finger, it would be “to help restore marriages so that everyone can enjoy the pleasure and intimacy in the way God designed marriages to be.” It breaks my heart to see spouses angry, unhappy, resentful and turning to the searing pain of divorce. If you had one wish for YOUR marriage to make it the way you envisioned it to be, what would that be? But let’s take it one step further, because marriages need more than a wish and a swish of a magical wand. A wish can sometimes look like this: Wishing you spouse would stop leaving socks on the floor, start putting down the toilet seat, stop playing so much golf, stop working so much, start helping with the children at bath time. Wishing something supernaturally would fall from the sky to change…
Posted in: Anticipation, Beauty through Boldness, Commitment, Expectations, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, Prayer, Resentment, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: April 4, 2013
This blog post is written by my friend Larry Dieno. I met Larry when I was facilitating a study called a “Life of No Regrets.” Little did our group know that one day Larry would be faced with decisions that would change the course of his family’s life. Larry’s words in this article ring true, because he has walked every step of this journey of faith and commitment. April 19, 2003. Janet and I stood before God, family and friends to declare our love and commitment to each other for the rest of our lives. Little did we know how one day that commitment would be tested. Our first nine years together were a whirlwind. We started out with five of our combined seven kids living with us, all of them active in a variety of sports and community activities. Rarely did we have time to just be with each…
Posted in: aneurysm, Beauty from the Inside Out, Commitment, Encouragement, Faith, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles
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