Blog: disappointments

The Power of Praying Friends-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: November 11, 2024

One of the simplest and most powerful ways to cultivate and deepen friendships is to pray together. It’s free. All it costs you is your time and commitment. When people ask me, “Heidi, when and how did you learn and love to pray?” My response is always: “Out of desperation.” Most of us learn to pray out of desperation. Grieving the deaths of two husbands I prayed fearlessly and passionately because I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. That’s why I can pray on the spot, in a group, in front of hundreds of people because I’m not praying to impress , I’m praying to my Abba Father who hears my prayers. We don’t pray to impress or sound smart or holy. For over 10 years, without missing a single month, I’ve been praying with two friends by Skype and now Zoom. One lives in Alabama and one…

Posted in: ask for help, ask God, Christ in us, Come to Jesus, disappointments, don't give up, Friendship, girlfriends, God's love, goodness of God, Intimacy, loneliness, make time for each other, one-another, Prayer, Prayer deepens relationships, Praying divides our burdens, praying with friends, presence of God, relationships, spiritual friendships, we need each other

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Thanksgiving Disasters-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: October 8, 2024

My favourite festivity of the year is, hands down, Thanksgiving. It surpasses Christmas and birthdays. I love it for many reasons. The changing of colours in the landscape into yellow, orange and red. The smell and variety of harvest fruits and vegetables. Cooler days which invite perfect days for hiking and golfing. A heart filled with thanksgiving and the best part…we don’t have to expend energy to buy unnecessary gifts. Little bits of fall decorating in my home help to set the ambiance and getting the house ready for a sumptuous Thanksgiving dinner. And we want it to be perfect don’t we? Sadly I’ve had many disappointments and disasters. Let me take you back to the worst one in 2018. The worst one was in 2018. The Thanksgiving table was beautifully decorated with my best linen tablecloth, candles, leaves, dried wheat and all my best china and crystal glasses. Because…

Posted in: adventure, ambiance, be creative, circumstances, confront conflict, decisions, desires, disappointments, disasters, each day has enough troubles of its own, Encouragement, Expectations, Families, fresh joy, fUN, good conversation, happy meals, home sweet home, hospitality, joy, Laughter, love lives here, presents, regret, Tension, thankful, thanksgiving

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Everything in Life is Temporary-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: September 8, 2024

The single mom and I sat on the beach in our chairs, with our feet dangling in the warm lake water. The setting was glorious but the conversation was hard and I knew my friend needed some practical advice. As I listened and prayed (in my mind while she was speaking) I asked God to give me some words to give her hope. Immediately I remembered the five simple words that helped me through my darkest journey. Everything in life is temporary. As soon as I said these words her shoulders relaxed and I could see peace invade her heart. When we’re in the middle of suffering everything feels dark and hopeless and often we can’t see how that will ever change. We feel lost, alone and weak. Often times we feel stuck. Our difficult circumstances overwhelm us and darkness is all we can see. It drains the life and…

Posted in: a time for everything under the Heaven, adversity, alone, anxiety, anxious, ask for help, circumstances, Conflict, crisis, darkness, death, disappointments, Encouragement, Everything in life is temporary, Expectations, friends, gift of peace, grief, happy, Making Wise Choices, momentary trouble, one-another, Overcoming Struggles, Peace, Prayer, relationships, seasons of darkness, show up, temporary, troubles, waiting, we need each other

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DISAPPOINTMENTS-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: August 4, 2024

Disappointments are part of every day life. We didn’t get that parking spot, the food didn’t match up to the price, and your flight was delayed or cancelled. The new outfit doesn’t look as great as you thought and the summer company you were excited about ended up causing chaos. Often we glibly say: “We need to just get over it.” But disappointments can leave us mildly irritated or they can crush our soul.  Because there are disappointments that are life changing. They may not be a death but it actually feels like it. The Doctor told you it was multiple myeloma or brain tumour, you find out your grandchild is addicted to drugs or gambling, you discover your business is going bankrupt and you will lose the house you love. Your spouse tells you he/she don’t love you anymore. Those disappointments are like a death. I’ve talked to many…

Posted in: anxiety, chaos, crisis, cry, darkness, death, decisions, depression, despair, disappointments, empathy, empty soul, Expectations, feeling bad, Finding Truth, focus, friends, grief, lamenting, listen, mourn, Overcoming Struggles, relationships, seasons of darkness, sympathy, thankful, trouble, weeping

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THE RESENTMENT BOX-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: June 10, 2024

We want to be nice girls so we stuff our feelings, paste on a plastic smile and carry on. Inwardly the heart churns and toxic fumes accumulate as we drink our own poison hoping the other person will die.  Resentment is the number one killer of relationships, especially marriages. I consider myself an expert on this topic as I learned how to recognize and survive this toxic crisis in my first marriage.  I recall how each time I felt resentment, I wanted to pick up a rock and throw it toward my enemy.  But because I tried to have harmony in the home I hid the rock (my anger) and put it into a pretty little imaginary box where it would be nice and safe. I was clueless about the dangers of ultimate explosions. I did not know that resentment was: Feeling heartbroken after exerting a great deal of effort…

Posted in: accusations, adversity, angry, Anticipation, anxiety, ask God, Assumptions, betrayal, confront conflict, disappointments, do the hard work, don't give up, Expectations, faulty thinking, Finding Truth, forgive one another, frustrations, grit, healing, honest, Hope, messes, Offenses, Overcoming Struggles, power of words, relationships, Resentment, set free, shame, take care of your heart, Tension, trouble, Understanding each other, worry

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WHAT WE FEED GROWS-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: January 12, 2024

Over Christmas I fed my body a little too much and it grew. You know what I’m saying. Maybe yours did too? Because what we feed grows.  When we water and feed our houseplants, they grow rich and beautiful. When we feed our children they grow up to be big beautiful human beings. What we feed grows. So we have to ask ourselves, “What I am feeding?” I have to be honest; there are hard days with big problems that I can’t solve. As a result I feed self-pity. There are times when I look at my circumstances and I feel like I might drown. What do I feed? Self-defeat, I’m not smart enough to solve my problems. Sometimes I feel like somebody is disappointed in me and doesn’t like me. Maybe I’ve done something wrong. What do I feed? I feed unworthiness. I’m not good enough, not likeable. So what do…

Posted in: beauty and joy, beauty in God's creation, desires, disappointments, Eat God's word, empty soul, feeling good, God's creation, God's promises are true, happy heart, Heavenly Father, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, pity, presence of God, rest, self-defeat, take care of your heart, thankful, transformation, unlovable, What we feed grows

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Beautiful Things-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: April 10, 2023

Beautiful things draw me in like a magnet. Whether it’s a pair of shoes, the sunset over the ocean, a painting, a vase with flowers, pottery or the feel and texture of beautiful cloth. Anything which has colours, unique styles or something that brings ambiance into a room makes me yearn to reach out to it. Editors from my publishing houses have cautioned me about using the word “beautiful” too often. I’ve had to find synonyms to describe the magic and wonder of everything in God’s creation. Describing beauty is often beyond human expressions. I’ve often wondered why beauty impacts me so profoundly and I believe I know the answer. The Bible makes it quite clear in Ecclesiastes 3:11  “…He has set eternity in our hearts.” And in the spiritual realm we are already  “…seated in the Heavenly places with Christ”  (Ephesians 2:6). Our relationship with Jesus Christ gives us…

Posted in:  Ecclesiastes, a time for everything under the Heaven, ambiance, be creative, beauty, disappointments, eternity, glimpse of Heaven, Made for more, passion, purpose, worship

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BEYOND ORDINARY-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: March 12, 2023

What does it even mean to be “beyond ordinary?” The last 3 days I’ve been involved in a Global Conference with women around the world from 45 countries with the theme CALLED: BEYOND ORDINARY. I know we would all like to wake up one day, look in the mirror and reflect a woman that is smart, capable, enchanting and beautiful. After hearing many testimonies and keynote speakers, here’s what’ve learned about becoming “Beyond Ordinary.” BECOME UNCOMFORTABLE. Well, that’s not what we want to hear. To become something “more than ordinary” we have to step out of our comfort zone. Often times it’s with fear and trembling as we step into the unknown. Like stepping out of a plane and soaring effortlessly as Miss Wheelchair Canada Vahen King did so courageously. LOVE ME TO DEATH SO THAT HE CAN KISS ME TO LIFE. That’s a radical powerful statement made by Kathy…

Posted in: achievements, be a blessing, be a follower, Beauty through Boldness, beyond ordinary, brokenness, circumstances, Come to Jesus, comfort zones, disappointments, Encouragement, God's creation, God's goodness, God's love, Hope, hurting world, kiss of life, Lord, Overcoming Fear, Overcoming Struggles, pain, praise, seasons of darkness, success, thanksgiving, transformation, trouble, uncomfortable, victory, worship is a weapon

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Surviving the Christmas Fatigue-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: December 11, 2022

It’s not always the big stuff that can push us over the Christmas edge; sometimes it’s an accumulation of multiple little things that cause fatigue. For example: Saturday I was going to start my Christmas baking of cookies and my never fail butter tarts. But I didn’t check my flour supply and forgot about the corn syrup for the filling. So in the middle of a big mess, with no makeup and without brushing my hair, I’m driving down snowy, slippery roads to my closest store; Wal-Mart. But they were out of corn syrup. So were two other stores.  By the time I navigated all the parking, ran up and down a zillion aisles, stood in line to pay for one item, I’m struggling to keep smiling. Not to mention cancelled events, (for which I prepared) and wall-to-wall people in the mall. Each year I am determined to have a…

Posted in: anger, Anticipation, anxiety, Christmas fatigue, Christmas joy, disappointments, Exit plans, Expectations, Freedom from Busyness, frustrations, Move on, relationships, Resentment, rest, Say no, Simple, Solitude, take care of your heart

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What my Hydrangeas Taught Me-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: August 15, 2022

Something happened to my hydrangea bushes this year. The flowers, which always give me so much joy and delight, this summer they’ve given me pathetic disappointment. But in all this they’re giving me some valuable life lessons. When planted in the right soil and sun/shade, hydrangea bushes are exquisitely beautiful and resilient. When I prune them just right they flourish year after year, and as I dry the flower heads, they add stunning décor to any room in my home. Until they don’t. My two bushes gave me joy for 25 years but were slowly becoming root bound and it was time to dig them out and plant new ones. So I planted new bushes with joyful expectation. But sadly the new bushes are not thriving, instead they look sick and I’m not sure they’re going to make it. I fully believe God gives us examples in His physical creation…

Posted in: 5 things, adversity, beauty and joy, bitterness, crisis, decisions, disappointments, empty soul, Encouragement, Expectations, feeling good, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, fresh joy, frustrations, hydrangea bushes, joy, Overcoming Struggles, pruning, relationships, Resentment, retaliation, satan, take care of your heart, tender soul care, toxic relationships

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