Blog: relationships
Posted: August 15, 2022
Something happened to my hydrangea bushes this year. The flowers, which always give me so much joy and delight, this summer they’ve given me pathetic disappointment. But in all this they’re giving me some valuable life lessons. When planted in the right soil and sun/shade, hydrangea bushes are exquisitely beautiful and resilient. When I prune them just right they flourish year after year, and as I dry the flower heads, they add stunning décor to any room in my home. Until they don’t. My two bushes gave me joy for 25 years but were slowly becoming root bound and it was time to dig them out and plant new ones. So I planted new bushes with joyful expectation. But sadly the new bushes are not thriving, instead they look sick and I’m not sure they’re going to make it. I fully believe God gives us examples in His physical creation…
Posted in: 5 things, adversity, beauty and joy, bitterness, crisis, decisions, disappointments, empty soul, Encouragement, Expectations, feeling good, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, fresh joy, frustrations, hydrangea bushes, joy, Overcoming Struggles, pruning, relationships, Resentment, retaliation, satan, take care of your heart, tender soul care, toxic relationships
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Posted: March 13, 2022
Miracle moments aren’t always the parting of the Red Sea or water gushing from a rock. Miracles continue to be all around us. The God who performed those miracles thousands of years ago, is still involved in miracles today. The God who provided daily manna for the millions of people wandering in the desert is the same God who will provide for us today. God is the I AM, the same God of yesterday, today and tomorrow. What God did for David, Moses, Elijah, and Joseph and on and on God can also do for you and me. Today. Have we forgotten that? Let’s remind ourselves and begin to look around. I facilitate a Bible Study group and one evening I asked all my participants to share their miracle moments. One participant who had multiple back surgeries two years ago, is once again walking and engaging fully with life. Another…
Posted in: ask for help, ask God, communicate, decisions, Encouragement, God's goodness, God's love, Intimacy, marriage, miracle moments, miracles, Overcoming Struggles, pray, relationships, trust Good
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Posted: February 13, 2022
We long to hear God’s voice. I know I do. When we come to a fork in the road, or moment of crisis we cry out to God and would love to see a banner in the sky, or hear the audible voice of God. Especially these days we hunger to hear God’s voice. Is it right to take the vaccination or not? Is this the right job for me? Is this the time to get pregnant again? So many questions and we need answers. When we are in relationship with someone we enter into each other’s space and we speak to each other. When we have a personal relationship with God, He wants to speak to us. That is what a relationship is all about. In Genesis God spoke the world into existence and in Revelations God spoke to the apostle John about the end times. You and I…
Posted in: ask God, Christ in us, crisis, decisions, Expectations, God's promises, God's voice, Hearing God, Making Wise Choices, mind of Christ, Overcoming Struggles, relationships
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Posted: October 7, 2021
There are vineyards all around me, plus the bonus of a ready-made family of 15 deer. Male, female and many adorable bambis and they’ve taught me a lot. They love most flowers including rose bushes, cedars, and almost anything with green leaves. They’ve made me want to pull my hair out when I’ve had to replant my front flower bed for the third time and stare at me through the window while I’m watching TV. But last week they gave me a two-hour teachable moment. Two of the males locked horns. It was heartbreaking to watch. The clicking-clacking of the interlocked horns. The pushing, shoving and writhing backwards and sideways. Their grunting expressed their agony and I was unable to help them. Both were in pain but could not get away from each other. They were stuck! They were stuck! It became a “God moment “ where the Holy Spirit…
Posted in: accept and allow, betrayal, break free, Conflict, Control, deer head locks, Differences, fighting, forgive one another, Forgiveness, Freedom, Friendship, head lock, Heavenly Father, Intimacy, Kindness, relationships, set free, unlock
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Posted: May 9, 2021
Beauty pulls me into its orbit like a magnet. Whether it’s clothes, art, shoes, dishes, candles and especially book covers, I’m helpless and hopeless. And when I’m God’s creation and see the glistening water, traverse the hills and hear the birds, my heart is in awe and overflows joy. Springtime in British Columbia, Canada is a mosaic of colours, sounds and fragrances. The last month I’ve been hitting the trails and hiking in hills and groves covered in yellow balsamroot flowers, and white Saskatoon berry bushes. Often I stopped to lean in and smell the sweetness of the blossoms. What joy! We need to lean in to smell the fragrance. Which makes we wonder. In our present tumultuous and painful world where do we find beauty? These days certainly not in the news, social media or conversations. Most of us can’t go to church and get infected with spiritual uplifting…
Posted in: be a blessing, beauty, beauty and joy, Christ in us, Covid-19, fragrance, fragrance of Christ, hurting world, Prayer, relationships
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Posted: February 7, 2021
When we’re caught in rip-tide of discouragement, aloneness and even medical issues, we need friends to pull us out. Yes Covid has restrictions but they cannot be used an excuse for not tenderly caring for one-another. There are ways. If you’ve been part of my Fresh Joy Book study you notice that I often refer to friendship circles as “tribes.” Tribes are vital to our soul and our health. Tribes are vital to our soul and health. A tribe is, “a distinctive or close-knit group.” We need people in our life who will engage with us, help us when we’re stuck, make us laugh and call us out on bad behaviour. Before Covid, this was done in face-to-face in groups (2 or more) celebrating victories, grieving together or just connecting heart-to-heart. The richness of this cannot be duplicated and must be pursued. During Covid we are limited but there are…
Posted in: alone, beauty and joy, Christ, companionship, Covid-19, disappointments, Encouragement, fresh joy, Friendship, girlfriends, good conversation, Hope, isolation, Jesus, joy, laughter, Lifter-uppers, loneliness, loneliness epidemic, relationships, tribes
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Posted: October 7, 2019
Living alone is hard, especially if you’ve always had someone by your side for a long time. Your body is jarred when your heart is exploding with joy and no one at home to share it with. Or, an unexpected bill arrives in the mail and now it’s up to you to handle it. You need to turn on the irrigation but don’t know where the knobs are, or you need to learn how to barbecue or change the filter in the furnace. In the almost three years of living alone, I’ve overcome all those frustrations and solitary adventures, but the aloneness is always there. I’m facilitating a group called Grief Share, where once again I’m confronted with the reality of people learning how to live alone. Some for the first time after fifty or sixty years. I ache for them and cry for them because this is hard. Now…
Posted in: alone, ask God, Christ, companionship, decisions, empty chair, Encouragement, Expectations, feeling good, friends, Friendship, happiness, havens, homes, hospitality, laughter, loneliness, Overcoming Struggles, pray, recapture your joy, relationships
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Posted: July 7, 2019
I’ve earned the “School of Hard Knocks” degree of being a Grief Expert through no choice of my own. After being widowed twice, losing my dad through ALS, my mother through myelodysplasia plus a myriad of other loses; I’ve heard every encouraging, and not so, encouraging word. After reading that wonderful article by Celeste Headlee in her Huffpost article, I wanted to add a few of my personal favourites. Please don’t berate yourself if you find your words in any of the following scripts. Grief is the most painful feeling we encounter while we walk this earth. It’s outrageously personal. It’s love with no place to go. It’s awkward. It’s the walking wounded and nothing you say is right or wrong or will make it better. I love it when people try to say something, instead of not making eye contact or walking away. I’ve been one of the fortunate…
Posted in: alone, Christ, cry, death, Encouragement, friends, God's love, grief, Heavenly Father, honesty, joy, Kindness, laugh, listen, love never fails, pain, pray, relationships, smile, suffering
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Posted: March 31, 2019
Why should we become like little children? After all they wear us out with their frenetic activity, messes to clean up, and their defiant “no’s” and “mine.” Not to mention the sleepless nights, the need for constant attention, whining and temper tantrums. Well, we don’t have to worry about becoming that, because we are that already. So when Jesus tells us in the Bible to become like little children, what do you think that means? And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:3) The key words here are “unless you change.”So how does that apply to us fully grown, responsible and efficient world changers? Let’s take a magnifying glass and zoom in. The simplicity of relationships. It takes very little to make little children happy. Last year I dedicated many hours to teaching little ones to blow bubbles…
Posted in: becoming, companionship, Encouragement, Friendship, God's love, happy, humility, Jesus, joy, Laughter, Life of Jesus, messes, Pleasure, Prayer, recapture your joy, relationships, Simple, simplicity, stuff managers
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Posted: January 13, 2019
In our present “me first” generation how do we separate selfishness from self-compassion? Haven’t our last few decades erupted with some self-entitled children, and a society that is enamoured with happiness at all costs? Where did we go wrong? After all, the only thing we wanted was a happy life and happy children with solid self-esteem. Too often we felt the pain of disappointment and failure and wanted to protect our children from experiencing those devastating feelings at all costs. So everyone wins. Everyone gets a trophy. Yayy, you’re a winner and entitled to feel that way. We’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy again. But, this creates selfishness. Yes, it’s extremely important how we play the game, but the fact remains that life is also about losing. We have to learn to lose, to feel rejected and disappointed. We don’t always get our way, everyone doesn’t always…
Posted in: disappointment, Expectations, fulfillment, God's love, happiness, happy, loneliness, love, perfection, relationships, self worth, Self-compassion, self-esteem, selfishness, suffering, vulnerable
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